Rick, thank you for thinking of quiet and substantive ways to assist your friend and his wife. My husband passed away exactly 10 months from his diagnosis of lung cancer. In the flurry of those months, we completed his estate planning. Alas, even with my experience managing finances, some details were overlooked, causing delays afterward. Checking beneficiaries and proper titling on accounts is critical - I missed one, having assumed everything was in place for that account (check the forms!). And when setting up a modest trust for our kids where I would be the trustee, our attorney suggested a successor trustee. Excellent planning; my brother was named as successor trustee to me. Alas, the language also included a trust firm just in case my brother couldn't do it. The language, though, was written as "my brother AND the firm" but could have been 'my brother and/or the firm.' So if I pass away my brother has to reach out to a firm for sign-offs, which will charge a fee for very little work.
Fifteen months ago I bought a new Subaru Forester after keeping my trusty Toyota Sienna minivan for literally a generation: 24 years, 442,444 miles (same engine! everything else changed out - a lot). Bought that oh-so-reliable van when pregnant with my third child and drove it beyond her college graduation. Kept it simply to see how far it would go (and yep how much I saved on new car payments). What a friendly and safe vehicle- no accidents, countless road trips from the Midwest to all points in the US in the days before DVDs, let alone Ipads. Books on tape! I had high hopes that my kids would listen as avidly as I did to The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb but my son shrieked "I HATE the word random!' Fast forward, I really appreciate all the superb safety features but they are complex - and the manual is perplexing too. My cousin, a long-time service rep, suggested buying the extended warranty given all the new embedded electronics. Ouch- even a new windshield from highway gravel costs much more thanks to the 'eye' sensors in the glass.
Hi Rick, very timely. I've struggled with this issue too, especially on communicating finances with young adult children. For several years after my husband died, as I prepared my solo estate documents, they didn't want to 'hear' anything about my planning. It was too hard for them to contemplate another parent's death. As they've gotten older, it is bit easier, but I find that each one has different interests in learning about finances. My letter of instructions gets longer with explanations (plus a callout that they review Humble Dollar articles!).
I am also encouraging siblings to share information. Five of my six brothers are single, in their 60s, and scattered across the country. Nudging them to acknowledge the basics of estate plans and at least inform one other sibling of location of documents is taking a while (we get along too!). Keeping in touch over the decades will be important to help future discussions about independence.
Hi Sundar, this is a thoughtful post, not only for oneself, but also for siblings and close friends.I have several siblings who never married; other friends/relatives are divorced or widowed like myself.Financial pressures in retirement plus lack of immediate family will loom large for many. So much uncertainty - really tough choices are ahead for those who aren't willing to start planning well ahead... or who simply can't plan ahead emotionally. The decisions will cast ripple effects among extended families and friends.
Hi Benjamin, I, too, love the Concept 2 Rowing machine. The company offers all sorts of rowing challenges online that you can participate in. I have participated for 24 years in their annual Holiday challenge: rowing 200,000 meters between Thanksgiving and Christmas each year- you get a pin! It is a challenge to get the hours in because of so many time pressures during the season when one is working full time (and 75% of the participants are men-when my kids were young I especially noticed the imbalance; women do so much during the holidays) . Now I've noticed more retirees can gain tons more meters, they must be rowing hours a day! I'm on my way to collecting 25 holiday pins, one for each year. And I hope to keep going for at least another 20 years.
Rick, thanks as always for a thoughtful post. The phrase 'it's easier to bet the farm when you don't have a farm to bet' comes to mind.
I also think of risk capacity when building a career (taking more risks?), caring for family (being present at expense of higher pay?), deciding when to retire.
And today, from the vantage point of my 60s, I watch young adults navigating their early careers in an environment where the prospect of AI and other economic forces could drive more uncertainty and fear around creating financial safety. Despite the low unemployment rate, many professionals across many fields have been out of work for over six months(per a recent Wall Street Journal article and firsthand experience with a relative). Others are doing extremely, extremely well (health care PAs, finance, consulting and data science professionals I know in their mid20s). Still more under 30s want to pursue traditional careers in education, where good teachers are still desperately needed. How to encourage them to understand 'risk' more deeply and to make thoughtful decisions whatever their income?
Rick, thanks. I also stumbled upon an insurance policy from my father-in-law who had died 10 years earlier. Took a while to find the bank that held it after multiple acquisitions but I was determined. $5000 went to my sister-in-law (my husband had passed away and she needed it more than my family). Can't imagine how many policies are still out there.
Rick, I'm curious, were you finally able to find 'everything' for your wife's aunt after your 2-year journey? I ask because I have two relatives and have been suggesting (gently) about simplification for similar tasks. 'Lost accounts' can be everywhere. I have a friend whose late mom still has modest funds in a PA state 'lost claims' site - I noticed online when checking for my late mom; I sent the info to my friend who still hasn't gotten around to claiming.
Hi Rick, this is a great post. I had to google more - I see there are about 580 geosynchronous satellites in orbit - some must be those you worked on? ! And I have learned too about the term 'graveyard orbit', for satellites to avoid collisions with active satellites. Graveyard orbit could be an apt term for some financial decisions that still linger but are mitigated to avoid future damage. I can think of some decisions I've made that fall into that category. I appreciate your analysis and recognition of complex factors. I own two houses and am keeping an eye on housing affordability/options for my young adult children. A family mortgage may be in the offing for one of the properties (using the same firm Jonathan mentioned previously). My financial orbit will definitely evolve and revolve based on values, goals and resources. Thanks.
Comments
Rick, thank you for thinking of quiet and substantive ways to assist your friend and his wife. My husband passed away exactly 10 months from his diagnosis of lung cancer. In the flurry of those months, we completed his estate planning. Alas, even with my experience managing finances, some details were overlooked, causing delays afterward. Checking beneficiaries and proper titling on accounts is critical - I missed one, having assumed everything was in place for that account (check the forms!). And when setting up a modest trust for our kids where I would be the trustee, our attorney suggested a successor trustee. Excellent planning; my brother was named as successor trustee to me. Alas, the language also included a trust firm just in case my brother couldn't do it. The language, though, was written as "my brother AND the firm" but could have been 'my brother and/or the firm.' So if I pass away my brother has to reach out to a firm for sign-offs, which will charge a fee for very little work.
Post: Tempus Fugit, Vol II
Link to comment from May 17, 2025
Always appreciate your perspective Rick.
Post: Let’s revisit an important retirement living topic. How’s it going? Great expectations
Link to comment from May 9, 2025
Fifteen months ago I bought a new Subaru Forester after keeping my trusty Toyota Sienna minivan for literally a generation: 24 years, 442,444 miles (same engine! everything else changed out - a lot). Bought that oh-so-reliable van when pregnant with my third child and drove it beyond her college graduation. Kept it simply to see how far it would go (and yep how much I saved on new car payments). What a friendly and safe vehicle- no accidents, countless road trips from the Midwest to all points in the US in the days before DVDs, let alone Ipads. Books on tape! I had high hopes that my kids would listen as avidly as I did to The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb but my son shrieked "I HATE the word random!' Fast forward, I really appreciate all the superb safety features but they are complex - and the manual is perplexing too. My cousin, a long-time service rep, suggested buying the extended warranty given all the new embedded electronics. Ouch- even a new windshield from highway gravel costs much more thanks to the 'eye' sensors in the glass.
Post: Car talk- Quinn likes friendliness
Link to comment from April 15, 2025
Hi Rick, very timely. I've struggled with this issue too, especially on communicating finances with young adult children. For several years after my husband died, as I prepared my solo estate documents, they didn't want to 'hear' anything about my planning. It was too hard for them to contemplate another parent's death. As they've gotten older, it is bit easier, but I find that each one has different interests in learning about finances. My letter of instructions gets longer with explanations (plus a callout that they review Humble Dollar articles!). I am also encouraging siblings to share information. Five of my six brothers are single, in their 60s, and scattered across the country. Nudging them to acknowledge the basics of estate plans and at least inform one other sibling of location of documents is taking a while (we get along too!). Keeping in touch over the decades will be important to help future discussions about independence.
Post: RCC asks – How will you know when it’s time?
Link to comment from April 13, 2025
Hi Sundar, this is a thoughtful post, not only for oneself, but also for siblings and close friends.I have several siblings who never married; other friends/relatives are divorced or widowed like myself.Financial pressures in retirement plus lack of immediate family will loom large for many. So much uncertainty - really tough choices are ahead for those who aren't willing to start planning well ahead... or who simply can't plan ahead emotionally. The decisions will cast ripple effects among extended families and friends.
Post: Senior Care Crisis – Are we prepared?
Link to comment from March 5, 2025
Hi Benjamin, I, too, love the Concept 2 Rowing machine. The company offers all sorts of rowing challenges online that you can participate in. I have participated for 24 years in their annual Holiday challenge: rowing 200,000 meters between Thanksgiving and Christmas each year- you get a pin! It is a challenge to get the hours in because of so many time pressures during the season when one is working full time (and 75% of the participants are men-when my kids were young I especially noticed the imbalance; women do so much during the holidays) . Now I've noticed more retirees can gain tons more meters, they must be rowing hours a day! I'm on my way to collecting 25 holiday pins, one for each year. And I hope to keep going for at least another 20 years.
Post: What Purchases Have Been Worth It?
Link to comment from February 19, 2025
Rick, thanks as always for a thoughtful post. The phrase 'it's easier to bet the farm when you don't have a farm to bet' comes to mind. I also think of risk capacity when building a career (taking more risks?), caring for family (being present at expense of higher pay?), deciding when to retire. And today, from the vantage point of my 60s, I watch young adults navigating their early careers in an environment where the prospect of AI and other economic forces could drive more uncertainty and fear around creating financial safety. Despite the low unemployment rate, many professionals across many fields have been out of work for over six months(per a recent Wall Street Journal article and firsthand experience with a relative). Others are doing extremely, extremely well (health care PAs, finance, consulting and data science professionals I know in their mid20s). Still more under 30s want to pursue traditional careers in education, where good teachers are still desperately needed. How to encourage them to understand 'risk' more deeply and to make thoughtful decisions whatever their income?
Post: What’s your Risk Capacity?
Link to comment from January 24, 2025
Rick, thanks. I also stumbled upon an insurance policy from my father-in-law who had died 10 years earlier. Took a while to find the bank that held it after multiple acquisitions but I was determined. $5000 went to my sister-in-law (my husband had passed away and she needed it more than my family). Can't imagine how many policies are still out there.
Post: The weird science behind the Quinn finances
Link to comment from January 4, 2025
Rick, I'm curious, were you finally able to find 'everything' for your wife's aunt after your 2-year journey? I ask because I have two relatives and have been suggesting (gently) about simplification for similar tasks. 'Lost accounts' can be everywhere. I have a friend whose late mom still has modest funds in a PA state 'lost claims' site - I noticed online when checking for my late mom; I sent the info to my friend who still hasn't gotten around to claiming.
Post: The weird science behind the Quinn finances
Link to comment from January 4, 2025
Hi Rick, this is a great post. I had to google more - I see there are about 580 geosynchronous satellites in orbit - some must be those you worked on? ! And I have learned too about the term 'graveyard orbit', for satellites to avoid collisions with active satellites. Graveyard orbit could be an apt term for some financial decisions that still linger but are mitigated to avoid future damage. I can think of some decisions I've made that fall into that category. I appreciate your analysis and recognition of complex factors. I own two houses and am keeping an eye on housing affordability/options for my young adult children. A family mortgage may be in the offing for one of the properties (using the same firm Jonathan mentioned previously). My financial orbit will definitely evolve and revolve based on values, goals and resources. Thanks.
Post: Happy Winter Solstice
Link to comment from December 21, 2024