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MY WIFE AND I PLANNED our retirement using several standard assumptions, including how long we might live. Dorothy was healthier than me, so we assumed I’d be the first to go. But on June 30, she died suddenly, and I was the one left to deal with the fallout—including the many pesky, practical details.
Those details were bureaucratic and technical, and it didn’t take long to complete them. Dealing with the funeral home, Social Security and various financial institutions was straightforward. Diligently maintaining our revokable living trust and beneficiary designations allowed our estate plan to work as we intended.
As I started looking at the apps on Dorothy’s cellphone, it was clear that—while her life had ended—her digital life had not. There were three issues I needed to address: the risk of identity theft, her continuing presence as an advertising target and unwanted subscriptions. This took more time than the practical details.
Social media platforms want customers to be “sticky,” so leaving can be difficult. Facebook offers a legacy program which allows a user’s page to remain while preventing any further changes. You can establish a legacy contact you designate to inform Facebook of your death. Alternatively, after your death, a family member or friend can submit proof of death to move the account to legacy status.
Google takes a different approach, allowing users to establish an “inactive account manager.” Once you establish the plan, Google will watch the account for activity. If the account has been inactive for a specified period, Google will try to reach your trusted contact. If your trusted contact doesn’t respond or Google finds no activity for two months, it’ll delete the account. Remind your heirs to take control of your account after your death and gather any information they want from, say, Google Contacts, Gmail and Google Photos before the account is deleted.
Many advertisers try to keep customers sticky by asking them to subscribe to their advertising, typically via email or text. I took the time to unsubscribe from advertisers so their messages stopped arriving. I had added Dorothy’s account to my email app so that any important messages wouldn’t be lost. Eliminating the advertisements was for my own sanity. Note that the “white label” unsubscribe functions are not always effective. Instead, search for the word “unsubscribe” in the message and use that link. When you respond to texts with “STOP,” the vendor should generate an automated confirmation. If necessary, you might report messages as spam.
Paid subscriptions—online and otherwise—can be difficult to track down. You can scour credit card and checking account statements to find them, but that’s tedious and might not be complete. While there are apps, such as Rocket Money, that say they will remove subscriptions, I suggest a more comprehensive approach.
Close any accounts—credit cards, bank accounts and so on—in the deceased’s name, which means any paid subscriptions can’t be renewed. If you’re the surviving spouse, also close all joint accounts, and open new ones in just your name.
I contacted the three credit bureaus to inform them of Dorothy’s death. I also placed a note in my credit file to explain why I closed our joint accounts. With any luck, this will eliminate any further use of the accounts and avoid any impact on my credit score.
Sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to share this valuable information.
When a person dies, the death should be reported to Social Security, regardless of whether any benefits are involved. I believe that most funeral homes report them to SSA as a routine part of their services. The SSA will put the person on the “Social Security Death Index”, which includes their SSN. If anyone tries to steal the deceased’s identity, lenders will check the SSDI and deny credit.
u r correct. because we were not married[see above] and had been together for 30 years, the local FD stepped in and ”smoothed over”, the concerns of the local officials. an autopsy was conducted because of her age, my relation
to deceased, etc. a check had been dep. into her acct. a few days before her passing, and it was removed within 2 buss. days of the call from the FD.
Thank you for this article.
It raises a very important point about preservation of digital content. Many of us keep important documents and family photos/videos in the cloud. How can m family access this after death, especially with two step verification?
i guess our banker was right when we met him 20 years ago.
”you 2 are amish with cell phones”. we were together 30 years
as partners. when she died in her sleep 5 years ago, i took the
death certificate to him and he closed her accounts we had at
that bank and as i sat with him, it took 10 minutes for him to call
her 4 other financial accts. and get them closed. her outstanding
balances totaled $22 k and were written off. i waited one year
and every time her phone rang, i explain what happened and gave
them the date her phone # would be disconnected. her online life
was hers and i had no contact with any potential accts. as to family,
the ease continued in that we had both been orphans for more than
10 years.
Closing the regular accounts is difficult enough, then as you note are all of the subscriptions and other stuff (everything has a password and ID now a days). The best solution I have found so far to make it easier for someone to handle my affairs is to put everything in my password manager account. In addition to passwords, one can put most any document, note, picture, etc. in their password manager account (at least mine allows this). So whatever account I have is noted in this account. I also add notes indicating where stuff is physically located, pfd’s of important documents, etc. A couple people have access to my password account (under specific conditions). Of course, if this account is ever hacked, my life is over 😉 But there is no perfect solution.
My sincere condolences, Mark. You are indeed courageous and generous to share your experience so soon after Dorothy’s death. Three years ago, I did many of the same tasks when I lost my husband. When I switched his emails to my account, I discovered Humble Dollar, which was truly a silver lining, as I now feel very connected to this online community. I had already asked Doug for a copy of our financial passwords so I could have access if ever necessary (like you, needed much sooner than anticipated). I have now shared these with my adult children, as well as an updated “cheat sheet” of my assets, i.e., all the financial “buckets.” I will be thinking of you, Mark, as you begin to make your way without Dorothy. Friends and faith helped me and I hope they do you, too.
Thank you, Let me add that while the password manager functions in browsers may be convenient for keeping that password list compared to paper, a separate, digitally secure app provides more security.