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IN TRYING TO FORETELL the economy’s direction, former Federal Reserve Chair Alan Greenspan has shown “a keen interest in men’s underwear,” according to CNN Business. “He sees underwear sales as a key economic predictor.”
This isn’t because Greenspan is preoccupied with nether garments. Rather, says an NPR reporter, he believes that “the garment that is most private is male underpants because nobody sees it except people like in the locker room.”
Yes, the men’s underwear index exists. It’s based on the premise that, during normal economic times, sales of men’s underwear are usually stable, but during an economic slump men prioritize other expenses over replacing their underpants.
HumbleDollar contributor Ken Begley may have unwittingly answered the question as to whether or not the U.S. is headed for a recession. A man before his time, he understands the underwear index—as indicated by his unabashedly candid “holey underwear” article.
Meanwhile, just in case you’re wondering, ladies’ underwear seems not to be an issue—presumably because women are more sensitive about wearing worn-out underwear. And who would have the temerity to conduct such an indelicate study, anyway?
There are still risks to the economy, but most economists expect the U.S. to dodge a recession in 2024. Meanwhile, here are a few more ersatz but semi-accurate ways of measuring U.S. economic downturns:
These indexes may not prove to be an accurate way to predict the economy’s direction, but they’re probably no worse than what we hear from professional prognosticators. As George Bernard Shaw is reported to have said, “If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion.”
I just appreciate that you used “ersatz” lol
Thank you, Scott. One of the most satisfying aspects of writing is finding just the right word or phrase to fit a description. I’ve never been satisfied with near synonyms and almost right words. I guess you could call me a word nerd.
Marjorie great observation, and checking my collection they are are over due for replacement. We always get the day started off with a smile after reading HD, and no exception with your article. Thanks for taking the time to post.
And thank you for taking the time to comment
Thank you for the smile this morning! Now, excuse me while I check my personal tagless whitey tighties index….
Thanks for your fun comments, Jeff.
I recently heard a rumor that the number of people lined up at Costco for free samples is a leading indicator for the S&P 500 🙂 I am sure the free sample indicator is negatively correlated with the fine liquor indicator at Costco!
Mark, Thanks for commenting and giving a “sample” of your observations.
Marjorie, thanks for your article and I confess I’d never heard of the “men’s underwear index”. Your contributions are always educational and entertaining!
Andrew, your very nice comments are very much appreciated. Thank you.
Marjorie, thanks for a fun and enlightening article. I was not aware of these inductors. I have a friend who defines full employment as the time when the employees at his local Arby’s can’t get his order correct.
I’m hearing anecdotes about a travel index. The rental market at the Jersey shore seems to have softened as people are more willing to travel abroad. I guess that is positive for some industries, but no so great for beach house owners.
I suppose it’s my love of the ocean, but I’ll take the Jersey shore and its relaxing atmosphere any day.
Thanks for your comments, Rick, and your always earnest and informative articles.
UHOH Marjorie, I’ve got socks older than some of my grandkids…. Should I move to cash?
Not until they reach the holey stage.😊
Thanks for commenting Dan
Thanks, Marjorie, for a fun start to the day! Your article, with its blend of laughs and information, is yet another example of why I *love* HumbleDollar!
And I *love* reading your very nice comments.
Thank you so much, 1PF.
We’re always trying to predict the future, aren’t we? But only a few things are certain, like those cidicas that emerge on a regular cycle. Do you hear them where you live? It’s an otherworldly sound.
Marjorie, I like your article, but as I recall from my single days, a new girlfriend is not inexpensive!
Ed, given your engaging style of expressing yourself, most young ladies,in your younger days, would have been charmed by an old fashioned walk with you and a stop at the soda shop.
And, nowadays most dating site meetups occur at a coffee shop,so not hard on the budget. many women are happy to share the cost of a dinner date as well.
About the cicadas, we do have them where I live and oddly enough I like the sound.
Thanks for commenting.
You’re right, Marjorie. I did meet such a lady, and I married her!