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THE FINANCIAL SITE MarketWatch has been running a series about the lives and budgets of Americans who retire abroad. My wife Jiab and I—who moved from Texas to Spain—were one of the first couples featured, along with a husband and wife who now live in Chile. Both articles made clear there were plusses and minuses to such a move—experiencing new things, but also being away from family—and that we weren’t advocating this for everyone.
From some readers, we got positive affirmation, follow-up questions and many “good luck, but that’s not for me” comments. What surprised me, however, was the amount of hostility, which mostly came in three forms:
This wasn’t just skepticism. Some readers clearly went straight into attack mode based simply on the notion of retiring abroad. All this made me curious. People who read financial websites are clearly seeking to be better informed. Many of the attackers also admitted to traveling little outside the U.S. Why the strong reaction?
Coincidentally, Forbes recently ran an article that sheds some light on the answer. Jonathan Look Jr. explains how travelers to exotic places are often met with a tepid reaction by friends back home. Look cites psychological studies that attribute this reaction to two factors: unrelatability and envy of the experience. Humans often prefer a less enjoyable but shared experience to an extraordinary one experienced alone.
We humans are tribal in our thinking. We look with suspicion on anyone who deviates from the herd—as those who go against the grain will tell you. We also like to have our paths clearly defined. Too many choices can be not liberating, but confounding.
If we scorn differences, not just socially and politically, but also financially, the loss can be ours. Maybe we shouldn’t claim Social Security as soon as we’re eligible, like all our friends say. Perhaps the broker used by everybody in our family isn’t the best choice. Maybe our neighbors are wrong and remodeling the house won’t be a big moneymaker.
A resistance to other options can lock us into existing decisions that may not be in our best interest. It can lead us to view alternatives not as possibilities to consider, but as criticism of our current financial choices. My fear: This sort of skepticism can too easily turn into cynicism, leading us to reject notions that could be useful to us.
Jim Wasserman is a former business litigation attorney who taught economics and humanities for 20 years. His previous articles include Terms of the Trade, When in Rome and Bundle of Joy. Jim’s three-book series on teaching behavioral economics and media literacy, Media, Marketing, and Me, is being published in 2019. Jim lives in Granada, Spain, with his wife and fellow HumbleDollar contributor, Jiab. Together, they write a blog on retirement, finance and living abroad at YourThirdLife.com.
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Interesting article, as is the Forbes one you linked to, and your marketwatch one. I didn’t even look at the comments; I know what the internet is like and what you’ve already said about it says enough.
You are both right. Pretty much ever since college, I’ve been more around people who’ve “been around” internationally than not, at least until the last few years. I think it’s true people have a tough time relating to our experiences. My siblings have hardly been out of their (my) home state, and that’s true of many people around us now, but then it’s probably true for most of America.
All that is no excuse for the attacks. That’s a different problem.
Btw while looking on marketwatch for yours I saw this headline “You’re probably not ready to retire — psychologically” and my first reaction was “Oh yeah? Watch this…” Actually it’s also an interesting article: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-youre-probably-not-psychologically-ready-to-retire-2019-05-21?mod=bniir
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass”…..Warren Buffett
Jim – The lifestyle you have and the choices you’ve made are yours and seem reasonable, hurt no one, and make you happy. Good for you. They are not the choices and lifestyle my wife and I have made, but ours also seem reasonable, hurt no one, and make us happy. That’s the freedom we all have. I enjoy reading about and considering the choices other people make and thinking about adopting some of them for myself. Keep on writing.
Dave
P.S. Your wife looks a lot younger than you do. More than four years.
How did you get residency? Or did you qualify by showing that you have enough earnings/assets that you won’t be on their dole? We’d like to live in Italy, but residency is the big issue.