FREE NEWSLETTER
Go to main Forum page Ā»
Within a ten-minute walk of my vacation home there’s a lovely nine-hole golf course, its main lateral hazard being the river made famous as the source of water for Bushmills Irish whiskey. I haven’t lost a ball to the River Bush since I retired. That isn’t because I’ve gotten any better at golf. It’s because I’ve recently realized I haven’t played the course since losing my regular wage after retirement.
Instead, I’ve subconsciously started playing a nine-hole links course twenty minutes’ drive away. The only explanation I can come up with is that my mind has nudged me toward this new “regular” course because it’s half the price for a round. I’ve been hoodwinked by my own frugal mind, and I didn’t even notice it happening.
It isn’t just golf, either. Once I started looking, I noticed Suzie and I had become regulars at the various restaurant brands run by my daughterās employerāestablishments we barely used to visit before retirement.The reason took no digging at all: the family discount is 50%. Same story, different setting.
Nobody decided anything out loud. My spending had simply found the cheapest respectable version of the thing I wanted, and my conscious mind was the last to hear about it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what’s happened. A frugal instinct kicking in unconsciously is, in its own way, just a sensible mind adapting sensibly to a new stage of life.
But once I spotted the pattern, I started seeing it everywhere. It’s made me ask myself a question. How much of my retirement is now being shaped by discounts and half-prices I never consciously chose, rather than by what I’d actually pick if money wasn’t whispering in my ear?
Now that I’ve noticed, I think it’s about time I changed things up. My next round of golf is going to be the more expensive river course, and I’ll take a meal at its nineteenth hole, probably a 16oz steak. Be damned the cost of the food or the half-dozen balls I’ll probably lose to the river.
Although, there’s a slight wrinkle in my plan. Somewhere along the way, I’ve actually grown to enjoy the challenge of the links course. So, I can’t honestly say I’m rescuing my “true” preferences from the clutches of my frugal subconscious.
Which leaves me wondering: has retirement rewritten any of your habits without asking your permission first? And if you’ve caught it happening, did you correct course, or decide the cheaper version was the one you actually preferred all along?
Two observations Mark. The feeling subsides the longer you are retired. I felt it in the beginning, but now I just donāt care.
But there is another secret I use. Buckets of money. We used multiple bank accounts each with a dedicated purpose and for no other reason. One purpose is designated ātravelā but since that is now limited it has broader use like spending during our time on the Cape with family and dining out. There is no anxiety when the money comes from that account.
Connie has her own checking account with a monthly allocation from my pension so how she spends it is not questioned.
Another account is simply ongoing monthly bills, property taxes and miscellaneous. Monthly end credit card bills are paid from this account.
The point is how we will pay for spending, including golf, is known before we spend it. So no guilt.
The key though is that we know exactly how much our income will be each month and where it will be allocated. Our bank moves the money around at the beginning of each month.
Technically, wouldn’t it be the tenth hole at this course? š
Mark, wow, I resemble your remarks, as well as elements in both Dana and BBās posts below. So Iām just going to add my thoughts regarding expensive restaurants. I avoid them as often as I possibly can. Sure, I rather dislike a tab that runs into the hundreds of dollars, but what I really hate is when Iām lying in bed afterwards, with acid reflux brought on by multiple courses of delicious food and several glasses of pricey wine, overpowering my Omeprazole, causing me to question why anyone would spend so much to feel so lousy.
Donāt you know seniors dine at 4:30 to avoid that ā¦ or have a bottle of Tums on the nightstandš
Iāve also been shifting toward frugality, and itās more conscious than not. Itās not because of my own retirement in that my take-home pension income is higher than my take-home pay was (I had a lot of voluntary and involuntary deductions). Itās because my husband is planning to reduce to 50% time a couple of months from now AND we made a home purchase that added both current new expenses (an upcoming renovation, moving expenses) and ongoing ones.
Iāve been way more intentional about things like using points and miles for flights and hotels rather than paying cash for a nicer hotel. So weāre staying at more mid-range places than luxury ones, but whateverāas long as thereās a bed and a shower, you have what you need, right? Anyway, Iāve definitely noticed a shift in my thinking about how I/we spend money. Iāve always leaned frugal, and my husband would say āwe can afford it.ā Now heās more receptive to my thoughts about being prudent with our spending because of our recent choices.
Could we keep spending in a (relatively) more profligate manner? Perhaps. But Iām not comfortable cutting things too close. You never know whatās around the corner.
It’s interesting that you say it’s retirement and sub-conscious for you.
Maybe that’s a result of having a very packed schedule when you were working and not the asset of time to make the cheaper alternative choices?
I’d guess for many reaching a comfortable level of savings for retirement means having hardwired those more affordable alternatives in many areas of their lives. I’ve done a lot of work with branded consumer products companies and will always buy the store brand where it’s available because I know most of the premium is for the marketing and “name” if I buy the recognised brands. Result = money I have for something else.
Everyone is different. People are social animals and attach status to objects and experiential services. I’d say people who take a Cunard cruise think, in general, they are “classier” than those on a Carnival, whereas the younger demographic on the latter probably think the former is like the waiting lounge for the funeral home.
If you let go of a lot of status attachment then you can be free to make the choices which give you most personal utility whether that’s cheapest, best value, most convenient or a bit challenging but worth it for the experience. I recently went to Hamburg at shortish notice. The risk averse traveller option would be to book a name brand hotel in the centre at whatever the cost and take a taxi directly there. I booked a capsule hotel near to the station that involved walking through a fairly diverse neighbourhood. It gave me a new experience, a greater appreciation of what the city was and a lovely roof terrace for breakfast even if I did have to go down to the basement for an (excellent, clean) shower. Lots of friends I would not recommend it to, but others I would because it would be right up their strasse.