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Hi HD Community, I need your help. Today is my last official day of work, having been abruptly terminated with a fellow group of Sr. Managers as part of a corporate restructuring. To be honest, I was not surprised or even particularly upset with the decision as I know the company is struggling and I have been unhappy in my role for some time. Some quick background…I am recently 59, happily married for 35 years with two adult children who are both out of the house and on their own. As with most members of this community, I was a diligent saver and invested wisely throughout my career. As a result, I am in the very fortunate position that I do not need to work if I choose not to…at least not for the money. Here is where I could use some help…as part of my severance, I am being paid ‘continuing compensation’ for the next several months. Like unemployment, it comes with the stipulation that if I find a new job, ANY job, I am obligated to tell them and the payments will cease. In other words, I am completely disincentivized from seeking employment until the payments run out! So, here is where I can use your help…I want to stay happily married and feel productive while I search for my next role. What ideas do you have for how I should spend my 6 months “paid vacation”? NOTE: I am not bragging or seeking congratulations. I am truly worried about how I fill my days and not slip into depression. I am hoping that one (or more) of you will have some viable suggestions for me. Thanking you in advance.
forgive me for not giving YOU any advice. I suspect you’ll do fine.
What I WILL DO is advise EVERYONE, EVERYONE, to put a HELOC on their home, assuming it has equity. If you hadn’t saved and needed money that would be a good resource to tap.
A HELOC doesn’t cost you a penny unless you use it, and the payments are interest only. Principal often doesn’t need to be paid back for 10-15 yrs, or if you sell.
Don’t wait till you’re unemployed! Bank won’t open a loan for someone with no income!
PS notice I didn’t say home equity LOAN…
exercise, keep moving. enjoy liberation. theoretically all the saving of money is so’s we can have time. it’s like buying time. it does and can compound.
I was in your shoes a year ago, and you have a wonderful period of exploration ahead of you.
Try different things. Reconnect deeply with the people who matter most. Read. Travel. Pick up a hobby you’ve long ignored. Build a modest daily routine that gives your days some structure.
Above all, don’t look for a substitute for the status or routine that work once provided. Let this next chapter become something different rather than a replacement for the last one.
I have been successfully retired for 12 years, but still get asked for advice on how to prepare for no longer having a job. The simple answer I give is that you need something to spend time on as the euphoria of the “vacation” phase of retirement will eventually end and you need something to do to occupy your time, mind and hands. By all means travel, but full time travel is not an option for most of us and gets harder as you get older. Instead, you need a hobby and/or volunteer gig to fill some time. A focus on fitness and exercise should also be a part of your plan as you will be surprised by how the aging process speeds up over time. And, last but not least, you need time to read, listen to music, go to movies, visit friends and do other similar things that were hard to do when you were still working. The adage that “..getting old is not for whimps” is true, but you can also enjoy this phase of life if you put some thought and effort into how you want to use this time.
One thing worth thinking through: is this mainly about not having enough to do, or about missing the sense of contribution and role the job gave you? They’re related, but not the same thing, and to my mind they call for different fixes: one is solved by hobbies, the other usually needs something with actual stakes (mentoring, consulting, board work, volunteering somewhere your experience matters). I run a sports club and help manage two others, that’s what scratches the itch for me.
Either way, here’s a reframe that might help: you’re going to face this exact transition again at full retirement, just without the option to go find another job. So think of this sabbatical as a free trial run. You’ve got six paid months to figure out what actually gives you purpose outside of work, so you’re not solving this problem twice. That seems like the best use of the time, and it directly targets the thing you said you’re actually worried about.
What an incredible gift! Take this time to reacquaint yourself with your wife. I mean REALLY get to know her dreams and desires—how they may have changed over the years of your happy marriage. Delve into the parts that maybe weren’t so happy. HOW? Perhaps it through travel together. Perhaps it’s through a couple of courses at a local community college. Perhaps it’s at a retreat. Perhaps it’s a couple of ketamine sessions. I don’t know. But ASK HER. Whether or not you choose to return to work will be up to you both. Who knows? You may find the time with her so rewarding, you quit work altogether and ride off into the sunset together.
Congratulations on this wonderful gift of time you’ve been given.
What a great post. Sounds like you did this and had a very, very happy return on your investment!
I can emphasize with gnussen623. I have just recently sold my pharmacy which I opened in 1978. I have always worked 55 to 60 hours a week and It is an adjustment when you retire. I still work 2 and 1/2 days a month part time but am asked repeatedly when I am going to quit for good. I do not need the money but love the social interaction. I was raised in a
family which never had an abundance of resources and it is hard to adjust to a bounty of plenty. I have just hired an financial advisor and I am miserable because I enjoyed investing in the stock market. I am so blessed to have been borne in the U.S.A. and have immense gratitude for this great country and giving me the opportunity to participate in such a free market economy.
On the one hand, you are moving toward the margins, less relevant and more peripheral. On the other hand, you have discretion and choices in a wider measure. It will be interesting to see how these competing trends settle with you. May you find both meaning and contentment.
I eased into retirement. At 60 I worked about 5 hours a day, then gradually to less than an hour a day at 78. The key, I really liked what I was doing, and then they call that fun, not work. So my suggestion, get a part time job for now, in something you really like, even if it is working in a hardware store! Enjoy every minute, because time ticks on.
Without reading the comments I wanted to respond. I would find something that you are passionate about and see if there is a way you can offer your skills and expertise by volunteering.
I agree with the sabbatical comment below. I took a 2 month sabbatical when I completed my full time role. (I don’t use the term “retirement”, I use the term “time affluent.”) I used the sabbatical to plan out my new season of life and to do things that I would not have done while working. It gives you permission to have no hard agenda and allows you freedom to rest, build relationships, try new things, etc. I recommend it to anyone who is moving into their time affluent stage of life.
You are 3 days into it, if my count is right; by now, you are over the shock and realize the gift you have been given. Don’t look for work, don’t think about work, just figure out how you can retire now (including your wife, if she wants to), even if you have to downsize a little. I had the identical situation, 59, 2 kids on their own, 30 years happily married. I joined two senior men’s golf clubs and then joined the boards and now help manage them and play twice every week. My wife volunteers at two non-profits and we’ve never had less free time than when we were working – and we love it!
You’ve received lots of high quality recommendations and advice. I’ll briefly add my views (at age 83, retired for 15 years):
Sorry to hear about your abrupt forced change of employment. Sounds like you are well-prepared for it, though, financially. Nicely done!
I was in a similar situation – laid off at 58, one year into what was supposed to be a 3 year swan-song job. I spent a couple months looking for another job until I decided I was actually well and truly done with working. We had the numbers, and had lost the passion for my work. So I told my wife “I’m done.”
Fortunately I’d had some “practice retirements” during my career -layoffs lasting up to 2 years. So I knew a little about having nothing but time on my hands each day.
I’ve been out for 8 years now and never looked back. Love retirement!
Coincidentally, this article just dropped today on another site I follow – might be of interest to you: https://esimoney.com/win-the-retirement-game-joy-gratitude-humor-and-purpose/
Good luck with your journey – I’m sure you will be fine once you reorient to this new way of being.
These are all fantastic suggestions but what you choose to do have to be what you love to do. I retired from a job I loved at 60. People asked me what I do all day. My response is don’t retire anytime soon if you have to ask that question. They would ask the same question to my brother and he would respond “you do not know Gary if you ask that.” If you don’t have things you love while working trying to find things you love after retiring can be more stressful then working. Retirement needs to be about things you are passionate about not someone else’s passion no matter how good a cause they are.
As someone who has autoimmune disease and some other chronic health problems I can give you a few pointers to avoid depression that might be induced from boredom and lack of purpose.
When you get up of a morning go outside and get sunrise/sunlight. Take your coffee, a book/newspaper, walk your dog – just get those eyes and your skin outside for 5,10,15 mins or more – even if it is cloudy/rainy/cold.
Eat whole/real foods as much as possible. We all know the value of real foods versus processed for physical health but it is important for mental health as well. Same for beverages – stick to water, coffee, tea, fruit infused water, etc. avoid alcohol. Of course you may choose to go out with spouse or friends and enjoy a meal and a drink. But when home eat/drink healthy.
At night avoid excessive blue light. Try to wind your body down for a Full nights rest. An old fashioned book instead of kindle (or use the night settings), avoid the tablets or laptops after dark as much as possible. Light really does affect our bodies and moods.
Try and find a purpose. I haven’t worked a real job in 20 years. Raising a kid, keeping a tidy home, keeping a tidy exterior to my home (projects), clean car, taking care of a pet that I indulge way too much, having a stack of non fiction (or fiction if you prefer) books, volunteer work, cooking (real food you gotta cook yourself unfortunately LOL). I stay busy. And I love learning about markets. I spend several hours a day reading and keeping current about markets (the trick is not trading yourself broke – reading about markets emotions helps with that). But find a purpose, stay busy, exercise, experience life. I wish you luck…being bored occasionally is fine too! Enjoy!
Mr Gnuussen, there is some great advice below. All I have to say is that after going through a similar experience, I think these next 5 to 10 years could be some of your best. Don’t rush anything, stop and smell the roses, and you’ll find some great ways to put your talent and energy to good use. The newly found time allowed me to do some things with my kids that I’ll treasure forever–things I never would have done if still working like a fiend.
I like to piggy back on “The second is… give back” comment. I retired at 55 from a major airline. I became a volunteer fireman, interior certified. The wealth of information I learned from current & retired FDNY fireman at the Suffolk County Fire Academy stay with me to this day at 72. EMTs are sorely needed in all communities, some communities are now paying their EMTs due to the lack of same. I also became a Master Gardener, through the local agricultural extension. After 175 hours of community service, I’m still engaged with my HOA & offering advice when requested. Both in their own way I found truly rewarding, and the opportunity to meet tremendous people along the way.
I have two suggestions for you that you might not have considered.
The first is to build yourself into your own business as a consultant. Sit down with a laptop or legal pad and make a list of the unique expertises and knowledge bases that you have built up over your working career, and then ask yourself who in the business world needs that knowledge. Compile another list of the gazillion contacts you’ve made over the years and reach out to them for feedback. Spend your severance time registering as an S-Corp or LLC and planning a consulting gig you can do a couple days a week at a truly ridiculous hourly rate. I charge 5X what I used to make working for other people. I work only when I want, usually in my bathrobe or gym shorts, and I get a lot more respect.
The second is… give back. The financial mentoring you mentioned below is one good possibility. Train as a community emergency responder for floods or earthquakes. Teach a class. Volunteer a few hours a week at a food bank or a senior center. I deliver for Meals on Wheels, and all us volunteers are either semi- or fully-retired. We make a difference. Two weeks ago a client, 79, was clearly experiencing a stroke when I arrived with his meal. The EMT said my call to them probably saved his life. Can’t top that feeling.
Enjoy your new life, and don’t stress about it too much.
Thank you Mike. I appreciate the thoughtful input and suggestions. My Dad also delivered Meals on Wheels and found it very rewarding. I have given a lot of thought to consulting and will take a shot at making the list you suggested.
That’s a pretty stingy severance. Whether or not you obtain a new job is none of the company’s business. I pot many severance packages together and none of them contained that provision. Non compete perhaps, but not preventing a person from getting a job which may or may not be of equal pay.
I completely agree and challenged it with the assistance of an employment attorney. Sadly, this seems to be popular now and generally difficult (if not impossible) to change.
Predictably, you have received some excellent feedback below here on H.D.
I will amplify the wise counsel from W.D. Housley, below in particular.
I found my self a number of times in the latter half of my career either leaving positions by choice or as part of merger activity-not by choice. I kicked myself for not taking time off between positions on one occasion in my mid 40’s and promised myself I would take a year off after I finished a subsequent two year contract. After completing that role, I ended up making it only 7 months before I dove into the workforce again.While the 7 months was nice, I did not give myself as much “permission” or leeway as W.D. Housley wisely prescribes during that time.
I would suggest you start by not even thinking about work or the next job for 2-3 months and then see how you feel. (easier said then done, I know). Keep busy, I found manual labor in the yard, working on the house, cars etc. to be helpful. Pick up dormant hobbies or get new ones, exercise, spend more time with family and friends, research things that interest you. Take longer vacation(s) than perhaps your working life allowed. Most importantly…Let your mind clear ….you’ll be surprised how cluttered it can be after working for so many years!
After I finally retired again (just before COVID by sheer luck), I did some consulting. Some engagements more labor intensive than others…..and then one day knew that I had enough. The “dry run” I had during my 7 month “sabbatical” some years prior was very instructive for my final approach to full retirement. It was a soft landing in the end.
My prediction is this transition albeit abrupt, will be something you will look upon very positively in future years when all is said and done.
All the best.
Thank you “Dunn” (very clever)! I especially like your point about giving myself permission to slow down and take proper time to reflect and recharge. This will be a challenge for me as well, but it is sound advice that I will absolutely try to follow.
Along the lines of what has already been said.
Reframe your situation. This is not a problem it is a glorious, gold plated opportunity to try out “retirement” or the future you. So plan some travel. Catch up on some chores that you’ve been too busy for. Spend quality time with friends and loved ones by making yourself available on their schedule and location. Expand an interest into a hobby. Try a community college course in whatever. And spend some days just doing “nothing” and noticing and breathing in the small things in life.
If you do it right you’ll have no desire to return to work at the end. If at the end you still want the stimulation, camaraderie etc of work then seek something new with a conscious perspective of what you are giving up.
Oh and definitely involve your wife in whatever you plan, make it a partnership project even if there are things you go do alone.
Excellent advice, especially the part about including my wife. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Long time Employee Relations leader’s (fortune 100 company) point of view. Take the comp. If you find another job don’t tell them, they don’t really want to know anyways. The language you described is standard in every severance agreement, in 25 plus years, I have yet to see it enforced. This isn’t morally wrong or anything like that, it’s how some attorney decided to write the agreement up because it sounds good on paper but they can’t enforce it and don’t care too. Enjoy the next stage in life.
Thanks Mike. Interesting perspective that I will have to give some thought to if the situation presents itself.
If you genuinely plan on seeking another comparable position, you’ll need every day of that 6 months to do it at 59.
I suspect you are right. However, I have already made a list of the things that I would like to avoid in my next pursuit (including my long commute) and those restrictions alone would likely stop me from finding an equivalent role in terms of compensation. Per my original post, this is more about replacing my sense of purpose, and that is where the real challenge lies for me.
I was going to make the same comment about needing 6 months. However, I think it more important for you to identify work you want to do, what contribution you want to make, checking in with your spouse regarding her priorities and interests.
Then give some thought of what you want to do if the work you want to do never arrives.
Some of us continue working because we believe we can make a contribution. I have been at it for 16 years since I “retired” from my last Fortune 100 corporate role. I enjoyed my corporate role so much that my 2010 search was for a similar role with another organization – small, medium, large or jumbo, pretty much regardless of wage, benefit, location, etc. After hundreds of applications over a number of years, I never got the call.
Sorry that I don’t have any advice, but I really feel for you in this position. It’s easy externally to view that you’ve got it made, but I understand the need to feel useful and valuable. My Dad tried to retire at 68 and hated every minute of it. Nine years later he was finally ready, and transitioned really well. I’m a relatively young 52, and can’t access retirement savings here in Australia until 60. But even if I could retire, I would still work to have the structure and sense of value in my life.
Thank you for responding and sharing the story about your Dad and your own feelings about work. As advised by the HD community, I am going to challenge myself to take this opportunity to try and find something that gives me a sense of purpose other than the work I have done for the last 38 years.
I’m probably going to give you the most unusual advice here, and there’s a good chance many people will disagree with me.
I suggest you take a sabbatical.
Six months is not an unrealistic sabbatical. The idea has ancient roots. In the Bible, every seventh year the land was to lie fallow—not because it had earned a reward, but because periods of rest were built into the rhythm of life. Rest wasn’t an interruption of productivity; it was part of it.
Other than perhaps occasionally sending out a résumé so you’re ready when the time comes, I’d give yourself permission to do whatever your heart desires.
Do the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Clean out your office or the garage—or don’t. Read a book—or don’t. Go to a 10:00 a.m. movie. Take long walks. Visit friends. Learn something new. Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and think.
This isn’t because you deserve a sabbatical or because you’ve earned one.
It’s because this unexpected pause may be a gift. Opportunities like this rarely come by choice, and they often disappear before we realize what they were.
Don’t rush to fill every hour. Let yourself breathe. Six months from now you’ll almost certainly be working again, and this season will be over. You may never have another chance quite like it.
I’m a college professor, and been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to have a 6 month sabbatical.
Having the opportunity to really think is an absolutely amazing gift. This is what my sabbatical have me.
One peice of advice I give to my students as they send the “accept” email to their first career employer is to first think about all the decisions made, choices taken, choices not taken, that had led them to this moment where they can say “yes” to a career.
I trek them to them send the email, and then spend some time thinking about how their life just completely changed, ans was sent in a particular direction. What short and long term goals do they now have?
It seems to me that you have the mirror of this (rather than a career, a lack of career), but can still go through the same process
This is very inspiring and the bible reference makes your advice hard to ignore. Thank you for taking the time to respond and challenging me to think differently. Much appreciated.
I found my self in a very similar position in 2017. I was terminated on March 31 after my position was eliminated due to the end of a long held government contract. This was expected a year earlier but many of us were able to hang on longer. At the time I managed more than a hundred engineers, and most of them were in similar positions. I spend most of my last few years working to make sure everyone had somewhere to land. I was 59.5 at the time. I could have found another position with the company but it would have required relocating to the DC area. I also had compensation that would cover me until I turned 60 and could start an unreduced pension. Additionally, at the same time I was leaving my wife started a new position that would cover our health benefits. Her salary and my pension would cover our expenses.
I used the time to review our retirement plan and investigate new opportunities. I completed the Retirement Income Certification Professional program and looked at a possible career shift into financial planning. Several colleagues asked me to become their advisor, I thought hard about such a big change, and set up a solo LLC to be ready. About 4 months after I left my company asked if I wanted to consult on some proposals. I agreed and spend most of the last quarter of 2017 working as a consultant. This led to several years of rewarding consulting. I backed off during Covid because much of it required travel.
My suggestion would be to use this opportunity to think hard about the next phase of your life. It sounds like you are in a fortunate position to have choices. One of the things I have learned during my 7 years of involvement with HumbleDollar is that retirement isn’t a one size fits all arrangement. You get to choose a great deal of how it will go. And choices you make today aren’t set in stone. So thinking in terms of possible paths, and options, can be helpful. Best of luck on this next phase.
Thanks Rick. I have considered the financial advisor pivot as well. I feel like if I could help people achieve the same level of financial security that me and my family enjoy, that would be very rewarding for sure. I found an organization called 3rd Decade which is a non profit group that provides financial mentoring to young people in their 20’s (ergo the name 3rd Decade). Many of their mentees appear to be first generation college students who lack role models and leave school with substantial debts. I signed up to become a mentor and look forward to learning more about the program.
It’s not surprising that so many HD readers at some point considered a second career as a financial planner. I too considered becoming a CFP. Two things stopped me: 1) I am not comfortable with sales, 2) I figured I would use simple index funds as the basis for my clients’ portfolios, and teach the client how simple investing had become, but thought no one would pay for that. Lo and behold two decades later financial planning is utilizing these types of portfolios and concentrating on the rest of financial management, not picking stocks.
Exactly David. I’ve worked in the asset management business for almost 40 years. The future is in overall financial planning and advice.
First, I’m sorry your career ended this way, but what strikes me most is that you’re asking the right question. You’re not asking, “How do I replace my paycheck?” You’re asking, “How do I replace my purpose?” Those are very different challenges. I’d resist thinking of the next six months as a paid vacation. Instead, think of them as a rare opportunity to experiment. Volunteer, take a class, reconnect with old friends, exercise, travel locally, tackle projects you’ve postponed, or mentor someone starting their career. Retirement taught me that happiness isn’t found in staying busy, it’s found in doing things that make you look forward to tomorrow. Use these months to discover what that is for you. You may find your next chapter looks very different from your last, and all the richer because of it.
Thanks Andrew, I appreciate the optimism and really like the way that you put that “things that make me look forward to tomorrow”. I have a long list of things to try out in my quest to figure out what that activity (or activities) is/are.