Consumer Advocate

When I experience an issue with a food product, I don’t suffer in silence. While eating lunch at work in the late 1980s, I found what I thought to be a bug in my frozen turkey dinner. I mailed the specimen to the manufacturer, along with a cover letter that included a subtle attempt to mimic the comic style of the Lazlo Letters. I received some coupons and a boiler-plate apology, along what I thought was an unsatisfactory reply: “We sent your exhibit to our lab and they have informed us that it was a piece of fatty tissue with dark brown meat fibers adhering to the piece of fat.”

I showed the company’s letter to my co-workers and–goaded on a bit by them–I sent a response that stated in part: “Madam, I can assure you (along with about a dozen of my scientifically trained professional colleagues) that what I sent you was a “’roach or similar bug adhering to a crouton.’” Wisely, the company left the second letter unanswered.

I went through a brief period during which I was hyper-sensitive to anomalies in food items I’d purchased. When one of my Life Savers candies contained a suspicious dark spot, I sent it to the company with a request that they identify which kind of worm egg it was. The apologetic response: “The substance you discovered in your recent purchase of this variety was analyzed to be burnt sugar.”  They also sent me two coupons for free Life Savers.

Another time, I found that the inner bag in my box of Life Cereal had not been sealed properly. Among other things, I told the company, “The cereal tastes okay, I guess, so I’m not demanding my money back or anything. I just thought you’d like to know.” Despite my soft touch, they did send me a replacement coupon or two.

The novelty of being such a stickler must have worn off, or maybe life just got too busy to be concerned about such minor trifles. Recently, however, I’ve been given reason to return to my old practice of holding food companies accountable.

A couple months ago, I found a piece of plastic wrap cooked into a relatively expensive enchilada frozen dinner made by a well-respected company. No longer having to pull out my typewriter to compose a formal letter, I just found the company on the internet and emailed them my complaint, along with a photo of the offending material. True to form, this company took the issue seriously, even sending me a mailer to provide their Quality Control department with the contraband. They also generously provided me with three replacement coupons. I was impressed.

Not long after that, I bought a container of a popular grape juice drink. It was horrible. I couldn’t even describe what the problem was…it was just not drinkable and was unlike any other containers of the juice I’d had before. I sent a quick email, received a follow-up asking for a little more information, and soon received a replacement coupon in the mail.

Since I’m now a “mature” individual, I no longer try to amuse myself by writing colorful or bizarre cover letters to companies when I find a problem. But with the extra time I have as a semi-retiree, doing my part to hold corporate America accountable for providing a safe and high-quality food supply seems like an activity worth engaging in. Especially when I get coupons.

Are there others in the HumbleDollar community who engage in similar activities? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.