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We always told our four children they could attend college anywhere they were accepted. My pathetic college experience drove me to want much better for our children. Was it a prudent money decision, probably not. These days I am skeptical that college is even a good value.
At the time our ten years of college spending started, there was no plan, no dedicated funds, no large pool of any assets, except our house. It was an interesting ten years with monthly college payment books for two or three at a time.
Somehow we got through it with very minimal student loans which were paid off quickly-not counting our remortgaged house.
Fast forward twenty years and its grandchildren in college. Two are now in the same school at about $80,000 a year each. One received aid, the other not. Our 529 plans have helped, but barely when stretched over four years.
The next grandchild will start college next fall. He was into baseball from age five, really dedicated, took batting and pitching training, played on different teams, received a partial scholarship to a private high school because of it. He was focused on the pros. Suddenly, early last year it changed and he became totally focused on academics. He zeroed in on top colleges, his grades, always good, were even better. He just received early acceptance at his top choice, the 36th ranked college in the country with a price tag of $92,000 a year.
Naturally my son applied for aid. They offered $2,500 per semester. Not because my son if well off – plus his other son is one of the two in college now – but because he was told “you have assets and can take loans.” They counted the value of the pickup truck he uses for his part-time business. The college has a $4 billion endowment.
My grandson learned of the aid offer and knew what it meant. He was prepared to turn down the acceptance.
My son asked me if I still believed in children going to the best school that would accept them. I said I did – despite my reservation about the cost benefit in some cases. We agreed we can’t let this opportunity go by.
Now, how do we make it happen? Our 529 will help a little-very little in the scheme of things. We will help in yet to be determined other ways, but our dilemma is the other ten grandchildren. We need to be fair to all.
I suppose we could take the “not my problem” approach-nobody helped us with college costs, but I can’t do that. This is especially frustrating because the boy’s mother, who retired at age 47 with a pension says she has no money to contribute despite a requirement to do so.
We talk on HD about having enough, but these are the events in life that make “enough” a moving target. My son is investigating several options including remortgaging. I am thinking about what we can do to help make sure this happens.
One thing Connie and I have agreed on is that any significant help we provide will be offset to our sons inheritance so we are fair to our other children.
This could all easily be resolved inheritance-wise…but I’d rather delay that option several more years🥵
Tony Isola’s column is a must read for me every day. He posted an article last month that relates to this current thread.
https://tonyisola.com/2025/11/prestige-sells/
Something to consider before or after finishing college:
JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon says AI will kill jobs but maybe not yours if you’re good at thinking and talking. His advice: Learn critical thinking, emotional intelligence, writing and how to function in meetings. In a world racing to automate everything, being thoughtful, adaptable and decent with humans is real job security.
There are several issues here that my experience might clarify.
I went to public U in the 1970s but with great grades got into Ivy League medical school, which made my career. My education was better and the credentials still prompt comments, 50 years later. If I had stayed in Texas for medical school would it have mattered? I don’t know but I probably would still be there.
My two kids different as night and day have a different example. .
My son loved academics, English and poetry. His sixth grade public school teacher begged us to send him to a very expensive private high school, predicting he would be bored to tears in a public high school.
She was right. Back then the high school started at $22,000 ( but was more expensive than Yale) but he thrived, was valedictorian and was accepted to 10/12 Ivy League schools he applied to.
He was offered a 50% tuition scholarship to Rice but we figured the costs of flights back and forth from the NE and our expenses to visit would have eaten up most of the difference with a local Ivy.
He did very well in the Ivy League nearby , graduating cum laude, but, of course, majored in English and creative writing.He would have made a terrible lawyer or businessman. His only career path was teaching, but was not tough enough to teach in public schools, and needed experience to be hired in private schools.
The only reason he was interviewed for his first job at a private school was his Ivy League diploma, and even then he only got one job offer at the very last minute. In the job he excelled and with that experience he has his choice now of better more interesting private high school jobs.
His friends from childhood who went to state schools and majored in English, or Sports marketing or whatever, never got interviewed and are selling beer or real estate.
My daughter did fine but had no interest in academics and is much more of a people person. She did great in a vocationally oriented public school (Mostly agriculture and horses) and got spectacular hands on training in the FFA in public speaking, economics etc. She got into Cornell and did fine, but struggled to find a decent job, which she finally has after three years, now working in development.
My son would have been miserable in a less competitive environment, but if he wanted a career in STEM or business, I agree the Ivies would have made less of a difference.
So bottom line
1) It depends on the kid and what they want to do. I doubt in RQ’s case Babson is much better than the University of Massachusetts for “business”. They have spun themselves into this “entrepreneurship school but what employers look for are good grades, teamwork and enthusiasm.
With majors in a strong job market the school is less critical, but things change quickly. Just ask all the Computer Science majors out there now.
2) Your kid has to be happy where they are. My son hated the thought of going to the U of Texas although it has a great English department, and would have been someway cheaper.
3) If your kid gets seriously sick, it is very very worthwhile having them a day’s drive away or closer. ( the student health centers at most schools are awful)
4) Talk to people who might be hiring your kid in four years with a degree in Y from X. Look at where the graduates of the schools concerned go after graduation
5) the school should have enough variety in departments and faculty so if junior HATES business he can find a good poetry or at least English department
6) I have always thought you learn more from your fellow students than he professors anyway, so I would pick the school with the smartest, happiest students. I also think it is really important to pick a school where you will meet people different than you and from different backgrounds, if you will have to work for a living.
7) Where ever junior goes, he/she should get a broad based education, including economics, science and heavy dose of writing etc. My son’s best friend just finished a debt free PhD in Latin at the world’s best University, but can’t find a job. What will he fall back on?
So, I see a couple of problems here. There are only 8 ivy league schools, and Cornell is one of them. So, your underachieving daughter got into and Ivy and did ok – which is pretty good.
RDQ, I might have missed it, but what field does your grandchild want to study and have a career in?
I think you touched on three positive points to a college education when you commented to another “…the college experience, the learning experience, the personal development experience can be better at a small private school as opposed to a large school.” (I underlined for emphasis)
You know your grandchild better than any reader on HD and are able to determine if $92K per year is money well invested. Your past leadership and wisdom will help in deciding how to assist.
There are many stories of people who changed their careers after spending large amounts for a college education. Circumstances change and no well planned path is guaranteed.
Lastly, Happy Anniversary to you and Connie!
You raise a very good point. This grandson wants business. He was very interested in Babson college because they are strong in entrepreneurial education, but not the right vibe.
Our oldest son has degrees in architecture and civil engineering and is a licensed engineer. He did that about five years. Now he works entirely from home designing some type of software systems for banks.
Our second is a realtor. He didn’t like office work. Our daughter has a masters in education. She taught for several years and was really made for the job. She stopped work with her first child. Now, simply because she likes teaching children she works part-time at a pre-school.
Our youngest has a masters in business, and worked for a company in finance, but again can’t stand office work so now he is a project manager for a company manages buildings where he designs offices and manages construction projects. He does so well they started sending him up and down the east coast to solve other regions problems. But he is so into building he started his own side home improvement company which he enjoys.
So, given that all but the engineer went the same school, was it all worth it money wise? For the teacher definitely, but like so many graduates not sticking in the field where their education was focused ???? For sure it got them the first job, it turned out not the job or career for them.
However, I think they are all better off with the degrees they have, just not necessarily economically. Our son in law went to the same school, headed for Wall Street and is doing very well.
I don’t know what the answer really is. Sometimes the college matters, maybe sometimes not so much.
Thanks for the statement: “However, I think they are all better off with the degrees they have, just not necessarily economically”.
While I favor emphasizing value over “prestige” when choosing a college, there are other important benefits from education besides a potential boost in lifetime earnings.
My daughter picked Indiana Univ. over Babson 4 years ago. We paid half of what we would have paid at Babson, and she now works at one of the Big Four as a tech consultant. She has about 20K of college loans. Going with IU was a great decision