Hello Jonathan, I became familiar with your work recently, when you wrote a short article for AARP about dealing with your illness. It was very inspiring. Perhaps now IS the time to just go easy... I wish you lightness.
Here are a few Eian Rivera videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ffaWHpwKRc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLzRKeGBGKg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4BRo4A6J9c
Hello Michael, Winn and Strayed were at very different points in their lives when confronting fear. Winn and her husband were middle aged, losing their home and livelihood and confronting illness. Strayed, in her early twenties, knew she could get work again easily, but lost her family. Both found walking itself to be therapeutic. If you are in the UK at the moment, Field's book was in the top ten requested books in the library that was in the underground Tube during the Blitz. Field also won a National Book Award and a Newberry Medal (though not for this book). Enjoy the SWCP!
Hello kt, I recommend reading three books. They aren't financial but about women who faced unusually hard circumstances and survived. You may find them inspirational in dealing with fear. When you feel overwhelmed, dip into one of these. Sometimes it helps to address a fear sideways. All This and Heaven Too - Rachel Field This is a novel based on a real life true crime case. A French Duke murdered his wife in the 1800s. It was believed to be because he was in love with their governess. The governess was questioned and let go. Never charged with any crime, she married an American minister who believed she was innocent. Rachel Field was their great-niece. I did not consider this a true crime novel but a novel about what happens when an event divides a life into two parts. The Salt Path - Raynor Winn The true story of a couple who are evicted from their home shortly after finding out the husband has a terminal illness. They decide to walk the South West Coast Path to figure out their next steps. Wild - Cheryl Strayed Another true story with a walk. Strayed walks a portion of the Pacific Crest Trail after her family falls apart. Her mother died of cancer at 45. Her stepfather, then 37, found someone else within a year and she and her siblings each go their own way. She also goes through her own divorce. So she decides to walk to figure out her next steps. Oh, she's only in her early twenties when all this happens. There are times when she literally has two cents or nothing. The walk was in 1998, so she mailed herself cash at POs along the trail. One time she put no money in one of the boxes by mistake. Good luck.
Hello Mark, Congratulations on your daughter's engagement! I think the comments here make lots of sense so I won't add to them except to say I've changed my mind about one aspect of the wedding industry (and it is an industry). I like to visit homes (some historic mansions, some not). Many of the mansions receive a large portion of their income from weddings. I always preferred simple weddings to the princess for a day variety. However, those weddings preserve a lot of worthwhile sites which otherwise might be falling down. In the US, we don't have the powerhouse equivalent of the U.K.'s National Trust. I thank the brides every time I visit a mansion.
Hello Barbara, Here are some links I came across. My own mother was lucky, we never ran into this but it seems like it's happening more and more. Perhaps, have a reputable elder care attorney review any contract before signing. Ask the tough questions: What happens if I run out of capital, do I have a legal right to stay based only on current income such as SS and a pension? (Not just a promise.) What if I need AL care, skilled nursing care, or memory care and there are no units available when I need it? What happens if your organization goes bankrupt? Are there any restrictions on you selling this to another organization at any time? Read all the Google comments about any institution you consider. https://fortune.com/2024/03/12/nursing-homes-for-profit-private-equity/ https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/vietnam-vet-found-dream-senior-living-community-new-owners-jacked-rent-rcna195175 https://jacobin.com/2023/02/senior-housing-nursing-homes-rent-hike-private-equity-real-estate-investment I think eventually the greed of some of these organizations will backfire on them. I wish you luck.
Hello Sundar, In honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to share what I learned from my late mother's journey in picking a CCRC. She did a great job! No one urged her to do this, she just decided on her own after being a widow for a few years.
At age 80, she examined 3-5 CCRCs and pored over their financials. She felt looking at more than than 5 was counter productive.
About 85-89 is the age when mental decline, if it's going to set in, does. While I've known people in their 90s who are sharp as tacks, my mother and an older friend both followed the after 85 decline pattern. If she had waited a few years later to choose, she wouldn't have been able to do such a good job.
My mother chose a religious non-sectarian non-profit with a substantial benevolent fund and a strong commitment to never turning people out once they were accepted.
She chose a poorer neighborhood in a large city. The costs both up front and monthly were more reasonable. I've seen fancier facilities in richer neighborhoods but I don't think the care was any better.
The CCRC was over 100 years old (though some buildings were newer) and occupied an entire city block. It was an institution in the neighborhood and provided a lot of employment there.
She spent about 6 1/2 years in IL, 3 in AL and a few weeks in Skilled Nursing Care, once after a hospital stay and hospice care about a week before she died.
Emotionally, it was as hard for her to leave her apartment in IL to go to
AL as it had been to leave her house. The care she received in AL
was good. However, I think the hospice care my father received inside
the hospice unit of a hospital was more sensitive. 7. My brother handled the administrative side when it got beyond her and
he said everything went smoothly. I will read the article you supplied, thanks.
Hi Dan, Regarding "...gone are the days when a worker could cut their spouse out of the survivor benefit..." I think this applies only to plans covered by ERISA.
Many government plans aren't. It may also depend on the rules of the particular government plan or state law (community property states).
Hello Will, I think two of the sidebars, "About Nana" and "Who is Grandma Mama?" explain some of it, like having to sell a $80,000 house for $5,000. She might have tried renting it, but I understand her desire to leave it all behind. Perhaps, some things are too painful to talk about.
Hello Marilyn, Regarding your clients living on very little money, you might be interested in the blog "Nana Pinches Her Pennies." This is written by a senior living only on Social Security and tip income from her blog. It demonstrates how poverty compounds just like riches. She seems very resourceful but there is just too little income. It means always lurching from one bill to the next. The hardest thing for her is having a mortgage in her seventies. She planned to be mortgage free but moved out of her previous neighborhood because of the gun violence (I remember her showing the bullet holes in her previous house's siding). Though in a better neighborhood and living in still-modest housing (a one bedroom shotgun house in Louisville, KY) the mortgage keeps her behind. Here are two links to the website, one the most current and one showing her 2024 budget. https://nanaisfrugal.wordpress.com/2025/04/20/april-foodbank-haul/ https://nanaisfrugal.wordpress.com/2023/12/17/2024-budget-lay-away/
Comments
Hello Jonathan, I became familiar with your work recently, when you wrote a short article for AARP about dealing with your illness. It was very inspiring. Perhaps now IS the time to just go easy... I wish you lightness. Here are a few Eian Rivera videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ffaWHpwKRc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLzRKeGBGKg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4BRo4A6J9c
Post: Extra Innings
Link to comment from July 10, 2025
Hello Michael, Winn and Strayed were at very different points in their lives when confronting fear. Winn and her husband were middle aged, losing their home and livelihood and confronting illness. Strayed, in her early twenties, knew she could get work again easily, but lost her family. Both found walking itself to be therapeutic. If you are in the UK at the moment, Field's book was in the top ten requested books in the library that was in the underground Tube during the Blitz. Field also won a National Book Award and a Newberry Medal (though not for this book). Enjoy the SWCP!
Post: The Fear of Letting Go
Link to comment from July 2, 2025
Hello kt, I recommend reading three books. They aren't financial but about women who faced unusually hard circumstances and survived. You may find them inspirational in dealing with fear. When you feel overwhelmed, dip into one of these. Sometimes it helps to address a fear sideways. All This and Heaven Too - Rachel Field This is a novel based on a real life true crime case. A French Duke murdered his wife in the 1800s. It was believed to be because he was in love with their governess. The governess was questioned and let go. Never charged with any crime, she married an American minister who believed she was innocent. Rachel Field was their great-niece. I did not consider this a true crime novel but a novel about what happens when an event divides a life into two parts. The Salt Path - Raynor Winn The true story of a couple who are evicted from their home shortly after finding out the husband has a terminal illness. They decide to walk the South West Coast Path to figure out their next steps. Wild - Cheryl Strayed Another true story with a walk. Strayed walks a portion of the Pacific Crest Trail after her family falls apart. Her mother died of cancer at 45. Her stepfather, then 37, found someone else within a year and she and her siblings each go their own way. She also goes through her own divorce. So she decides to walk to figure out her next steps. Oh, she's only in her early twenties when all this happens. There are times when she literally has two cents or nothing. The walk was in 1998, so she mailed herself cash at POs along the trail. One time she put no money in one of the boxes by mistake. Good luck.
Post: The Fear of Letting Go
Link to comment from June 25, 2025
Hello Mark, Congratulations on your daughter's engagement! I think the comments here make lots of sense so I won't add to them except to say I've changed my mind about one aspect of the wedding industry (and it is an industry). I like to visit homes (some historic mansions, some not). Many of the mansions receive a large portion of their income from weddings. I always preferred simple weddings to the princess for a day variety. However, those weddings preserve a lot of worthwhile sites which otherwise might be falling down. In the US, we don't have the powerhouse equivalent of the U.K.'s National Trust. I thank the brides every time I visit a mansion.
Post: The Wedding Extravaganza: A Pre-Mortum for Future Parents of the Bride
Link to comment from June 25, 2025
Hello Barbara, Here are some links I came across. My own mother was lucky, we never ran into this but it seems like it's happening more and more. Perhaps, have a reputable elder care attorney review any contract before signing. Ask the tough questions: What happens if I run out of capital, do I have a legal right to stay based only on current income such as SS and a pension? (Not just a promise.) What if I need AL care, skilled nursing care, or memory care and there are no units available when I need it? What happens if your organization goes bankrupt? Are there any restrictions on you selling this to another organization at any time? Read all the Google comments about any institution you consider. https://fortune.com/2024/03/12/nursing-homes-for-profit-private-equity/ https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/vietnam-vet-found-dream-senior-living-community-new-owners-jacked-rent-rcna195175 https://jacobin.com/2023/02/senior-housing-nursing-homes-rent-hike-private-equity-real-estate-investment I think eventually the greed of some of these organizations will backfire on them. I wish you luck.
Post: Assisted Living: How Will You Choose?
Link to comment from May 13, 2025
Your aunt is so fortunate to have you! Taking the time to know the staff and other residents is a great idea.
Post: Assisted Living: How Will You Choose?
Link to comment from May 12, 2025
Hello Sundar, In honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to share what I learned from my late mother's journey in picking a CCRC. She did a great job! No one urged her to do this, she just decided on her own after being a widow for a few years.
- At age 80, she examined 3-5 CCRCs and pored over their financials. She felt looking at more than than 5 was counter productive.
- About 85-89 is the age when mental decline, if it's going to set in, does. While I've known people in their 90s who are sharp as tacks, my mother and an older friend both followed the after 85 decline pattern. If she had waited a few years later to choose, she wouldn't have been able to do such a good job.
- My mother chose a religious non-sectarian non-profit with a substantial benevolent fund and a strong commitment to never turning people out once they were accepted.
- She chose a poorer neighborhood in a large city. The costs both up front and monthly were more reasonable. I've seen fancier facilities in richer neighborhoods but I don't think the care was any better.
- The CCRC was over 100 years old (though some buildings were newer) and occupied an entire city block. It was an institution in the neighborhood and provided a lot of employment there.
- She spent about 6 1/2 years in IL, 3 in AL and a few weeks in Skilled Nursing Care, once after a hospital stay and hospice care about a week before she died.
Emotionally, it was as hard for her to leave her apartment in IL to go to AL as it had been to leave her house. The care she received in AL was good. However, I think the hospice care my father received inside the hospice unit of a hospital was more sensitive. 7. My brother handled the administrative side when it got beyond her and he said everything went smoothly. I will read the article you supplied, thanks.Post: Assisted Living: How Will You Choose?
Link to comment from May 11, 2025
Hi Dan, Regarding "...gone are the days when a worker could cut their spouse out of the survivor benefit..." I think this applies only to plans covered by ERISA. Many government plans aren't. It may also depend on the rules of the particular government plan or state law (community property states).
Post: Have you planned survivor income for your spouse or someone dependent on you?
Link to comment from May 4, 2025
Hello Will, I think two of the sidebars, "About Nana" and "Who is Grandma Mama?" explain some of it, like having to sell a $80,000 house for $5,000. She might have tried renting it, but I understand her desire to leave it all behind. Perhaps, some things are too painful to talk about.
Post: Taxing Situations
Link to comment from April 26, 2025
Hello Marilyn, Regarding your clients living on very little money, you might be interested in the blog "Nana Pinches Her Pennies." This is written by a senior living only on Social Security and tip income from her blog. It demonstrates how poverty compounds just like riches. She seems very resourceful but there is just too little income. It means always lurching from one bill to the next. The hardest thing for her is having a mortgage in her seventies. She planned to be mortgage free but moved out of her previous neighborhood because of the gun violence (I remember her showing the bullet holes in her previous house's siding). Though in a better neighborhood and living in still-modest housing (a one bedroom shotgun house in Louisville, KY) the mortgage keeps her behind. Here are two links to the website, one the most current and one showing her 2024 budget. https://nanaisfrugal.wordpress.com/2025/04/20/april-foodbank-haul/ https://nanaisfrugal.wordpress.com/2023/12/17/2024-budget-lay-away/
Post: Taxing Situations
Link to comment from April 22, 2025