My wife and I retired in our early 50s, and we are now in our early 60s. We are currently going through some assisted living issues with her 87 year old dad. He had been “aging in place” fairly well, basically by himself but with semi daily check-ins by my wife and sometimes by me. He is in his own home in our same town, and it’s only about 10 minutes away, so it was not a huge deal while we were in town. When we were out of town on a trip he had a smallish stroke that impaired his movement a bit and caused some confusion, and from then on it became apparent that he needed more help than she/we could provide him at his house. My wife moved him into an assisted living facility four months ago at a cost of $5800 per month, but while we were away on a trip he had another stroke and has now lost his ability to speak, and he can’t walk very well anymore, so we are afraid he might get kicked out because he can’t “self evacuate” in case of a fire (one of their requirements). My wife is now scrambling around trying to figure out where he can go if they do kick him out. She considered 24 hour care back at his house, but that will be much more than the $5800 he currently pays (more like $15000 per month), and his funds would only last him around 7 months or so at that spending rate. She thought about splitting his house with another person who needed 24 hour care, but that seems like a lot of hands on management for her as well as possible liability concerns for us. All this is to say that this experience with her dad has opened my eyes to OUR possible future problem with long term care. We retired pretty early, and ridiculously we never thought much about “getting old” and needing this level of care. I’ve always been healthy super focused on investing for our retirement, and we’ve done a good job planning for that and we live on around 2% of the portfolio, but the extreme expense of aging in place and the possible need for 24 hour care is not something I’ve planned for well enough I’m now realizing. Thanks for all the info on CCRCs, which I’m finally researching now. 🤦♂️
I would say it depends. My elderly mother and my sister both use the same advisor who charges a 1% wrap fee. They have used this advisor for many years, and both feel like the service they receive is pretty much worth the fee. My mom grumbles about it at times, but she doesn’t want to actively manage her fairly complicated (especially around tax time) portfolio anymore so she just sucks it up and pays the fee. My sister has little interest in things financial, so she is fine with paying the fee. Conversly, I have always enjoyed managing my family’s financial accounts, and since it has become more of a hobby/obsession for me, I would never consider paying a wrap fee. I do wonder at times if I should let a good advisor take a peek at our financial setup to look for possible problems. Maybe I will do that one day.
My goodness, that’s a serious success story. I feel pretty lazy and entitled in comparison, growing up in my middle class household with all the hidden (to me at the time) benefits. Is it harder to immigrate to the US now than it was when you did it?
Comments
My wife and I retired in our early 50s, and we are now in our early 60s. We are currently going through some assisted living issues with her 87 year old dad. He had been “aging in place” fairly well, basically by himself but with semi daily check-ins by my wife and sometimes by me. He is in his own home in our same town, and it’s only about 10 minutes away, so it was not a huge deal while we were in town. When we were out of town on a trip he had a smallish stroke that impaired his movement a bit and caused some confusion, and from then on it became apparent that he needed more help than she/we could provide him at his house. My wife moved him into an assisted living facility four months ago at a cost of $5800 per month, but while we were away on a trip he had another stroke and has now lost his ability to speak, and he can’t walk very well anymore, so we are afraid he might get kicked out because he can’t “self evacuate” in case of a fire (one of their requirements). My wife is now scrambling around trying to figure out where he can go if they do kick him out. She considered 24 hour care back at his house, but that will be much more than the $5800 he currently pays (more like $15000 per month), and his funds would only last him around 7 months or so at that spending rate. She thought about splitting his house with another person who needed 24 hour care, but that seems like a lot of hands on management for her as well as possible liability concerns for us. All this is to say that this experience with her dad has opened my eyes to OUR possible future problem with long term care. We retired pretty early, and ridiculously we never thought much about “getting old” and needing this level of care. I’ve always been healthy super focused on investing for our retirement, and we’ve done a good job planning for that and we live on around 2% of the portfolio, but the extreme expense of aging in place and the possible need for 24 hour care is not something I’ve planned for well enough I’m now realizing. Thanks for all the info on CCRCs, which I’m finally researching now. 🤦♂️
Post: Percentage that “age in place”
Link to comment from September 5, 2026
I would say it depends. My elderly mother and my sister both use the same advisor who charges a 1% wrap fee. They have used this advisor for many years, and both feel like the service they receive is pretty much worth the fee. My mom grumbles about it at times, but she doesn’t want to actively manage her fairly complicated (especially around tax time) portfolio anymore so she just sucks it up and pays the fee. My sister has little interest in things financial, so she is fine with paying the fee. Conversly, I have always enjoyed managing my family’s financial accounts, and since it has become more of a hobby/obsession for me, I would never consider paying a wrap fee. I do wonder at times if I should let a good advisor take a peek at our financial setup to look for possible problems. Maybe I will do that one day.
Post: Is a good financial advisor worth 1% of assets per year?
Link to comment from July 29, 2023
My goodness, that’s a serious success story. I feel pretty lazy and entitled in comparison, growing up in my middle class household with all the hidden (to me at the time) benefits. Is it harder to immigrate to the US now than it was when you did it?
Post: Come a Long Way
Link to comment from July 12, 2023