Hi Ed Your post describes a beautiful place to live and grow. Let me add another perspective. I grew up in the countryside in a house built in 1913 and completely renovated by my father in the 1960’s. My parents grew a grove of magnificent trees, my mother tended a wonderful vegetable garden and my dad built a large machine shop for his boat and car renovations. It was their home, and they had no intention of leaving. My dad, however, had post polio and they planned, as you do, for accessible living: one floor, ramps placement, etc. As expected, his mobility deteriorated and at age 80 he was confined to a power chair. My mom was his caregiver, living together on the farm, until at age 85 he contracted an undiagnosed UTI and died within a few weeks in a care facility. This is where their planning stopped and what i urge you to consider. At age 80, my mother instantly became an exhausted, deeply bereaved widow living completely isolated in the country where caring and maintenance help is difficult to obtain. Depending on well water and septic is worrisome for a frail old person. My brother lives near by and was of great assistance, but he had his own home, job and wife to tend. But after several years of decline herself while vociferously resisting “moving to town”, she has finally moved to an assisted living facility. As we have struggled as a family to help her, I have often wondered: WHAT WAS MY FATHER THINKING LEAVING HIS 80 YEAR OLD WIFE ALONE IN THAT HOUSE? As a consequence of this experience, my husband and I have set planning boundaries. When he reaches 75, we are committed to having the children either be the primary managers/care givers for the lake home or we will have to sell. We will have plans to move ourselves to a care community when he is 80. My observation is that it is preferable to do the final house cleanse with your spouse and start a new location together.
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Hi Ed Your post describes a beautiful place to live and grow. Let me add another perspective. I grew up in the countryside in a house built in 1913 and completely renovated by my father in the 1960’s. My parents grew a grove of magnificent trees, my mother tended a wonderful vegetable garden and my dad built a large machine shop for his boat and car renovations. It was their home, and they had no intention of leaving. My dad, however, had post polio and they planned, as you do, for accessible living: one floor, ramps placement, etc. As expected, his mobility deteriorated and at age 80 he was confined to a power chair. My mom was his caregiver, living together on the farm, until at age 85 he contracted an undiagnosed UTI and died within a few weeks in a care facility. This is where their planning stopped and what i urge you to consider. At age 80, my mother instantly became an exhausted, deeply bereaved widow living completely isolated in the country where caring and maintenance help is difficult to obtain. Depending on well water and septic is worrisome for a frail old person. My brother lives near by and was of great assistance, but he had his own home, job and wife to tend. But after several years of decline herself while vociferously resisting “moving to town”, she has finally moved to an assisted living facility. As we have struggled as a family to help her, I have often wondered: WHAT WAS MY FATHER THINKING LEAVING HIS 80 YEAR OLD WIFE ALONE IN THAT HOUSE? As a consequence of this experience, my husband and I have set planning boundaries. When he reaches 75, we are committed to having the children either be the primary managers/care givers for the lake home or we will have to sell. We will have plans to move ourselves to a care community when he is 80. My observation is that it is preferable to do the final house cleanse with your spouse and start a new location together.
Post: Getting Old
Link to comment from April 19, 2023