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I WAS THINKING ABOUT Jonathan the other day on my morning walk, which happens more often than you might think. It’s hard not to think about him when you have HumbleDollar coasters in your living room and a HumbleDollar shopping bag in your car that you use for groceries. My wife confiscated the HumbleDollar cup I had been using for my morning tea, and it now has a new home in our bathroom holding her toothbrush and toothpaste. There’s even an apron somewhere in the house that Jonathan once sent to all the writers.
Ever since I started writing for HumbleDollar in 2017, Jonathan has influenced my retirement. I now own the Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund (symbol: VT) in my investment portfolio because of his recommendation. He liked it for its “broad global diversification in one low-cost fund that covers virtually all publicly traded companies worldwide.” It struck me as a good way to simplify our holdings.
I didn’t just borrow some of Jonathan’s investment ideas; I also borrowed some of his words he used when editing my articles. I began peppering my writing with words like fret, upshot, and folks. He once told me, “While your grammar is occasionally a bit dodgy, you have a great ear for language.” I was too embarrassed to ask him what he meant by a “great ear for language.”
When I retired, I never imagined that writing for HumbleDollar would become such a big part of my retirement, and I’m grateful to Jonathan for that. I also didn’t think my retirement would be so fluid. I pictured something far more stable: remaining single, living in a one-bedroom condo, and fending for myself.
My life now is different.
I’m married and live in a three-bedroom home in another city. One of the biggest changes, however, has nothing to do with geography. It has to do with money—specifically, how financial decisions change when there are two people instead of one. I learned that lesson early in our marriage.
We got married in August 2020. That December, I woke up one morning and saw blood in my urine. I went to an urologist who ran a series of tests, but it took about a month to determine the cause.
During that time, I decided to consolidate our remaining investment holdings to make things easier for Rachel to manage in case something happened to me.
Most of our money was already at Vanguard, except for a 401(k) from my former employer that was invested in a stable value fund. It still held a significant balance. Without much hesitation, I moved it into a bond fund at Vanguard.
Not too long afterward, the bond market nosedived. The fund performed poorly—especially compared to the stable value fund the money had been in.
The upshot: I panicked—and paid for it. It wasn’t a good time to make a financial decision while I was under stress. Some of the worst money moves happen when emotions are running high—selling stocks at the bottom of a bear market or rushing to act after an unexpected windfall. More often than not, it’s better to wait until you’re clearheaded before making a decision.
At the time, I was also fretting about whether Rachel would qualify for my Social Security benefit, which is much larger than hers. You have to be married for at least nine months. I found myself counting off the days.
Another financial decision became more complicated simply because we were now a couple: what to do with the three properties we owned—my condo, Rachel’s house, and the house I had inherited.
Neither of us wanted to be landlords at this stage of our lives. We were excited about getting married and starting a new life together.
I decided to sell my condo during the pandemic, which wasn’t easy. Rather than wait, I accepted an offer of $380,000—$43,000 below the asking price.
Rachel decided to wait and rent out her house for two years. She didn’t get caught up in the excitement or rush into selling. As it turned out, that patience paid off.
When the for-sale sign finally went up, I would stop by the house to water the yard and rake the falling leaves. One day, a real estate agent and his client were there looking at the property. They kept asking me whether the price listed on the brochure was correct. Rachel’s agent had intentionally priced the house at the lower end of the range in hopes of creating a bidding war.
I told them they would have to talk to my wife and her agent because it wasn’t my house. The agent asked how long we had been married. When I told him two years, he nodded and said, “I get it. She wanted to wait until she was sure about the marriage before selling the house.”
Rachel laughed when I told her what he said. She wasn’t waiting to see if the marriage would work. She waited because selling a house is a major financial decision, and she didn’t see any reason to rush it.
Two years later, the timing turned out to be just right. The market had improved and the strategy worked exactly as planned. There were multiple offers, and the final sale price was well above what it would have been earlier.
At the time my wife sold her house, Zillow’s estimated price of my condo was $484,000—$104,000 more than I received. I don’t really know why I was in such a rush to sell. Maybe it had something to do with the pandemic, my mother’s recent death, my sister and brother-in-law moving out of state, or the stress of renovating our new house. It was an emotional time for me, and I was probably searching for some stability in my life.
What I’ve learned—both from Jonathan and from being married—is that good financial decisions usually come from patience, not urgency. When I feel anxious or pressured to act, I’m more likely to make a mistake. When I slow down, think things through, and listen—especially to my wife—the outcome is usually better.
Managing money well isn’t about always making the right move. It’s about avoiding the wrong ones—and knowing when to wait.
Dennis Friedman retired from Boeing Satellite Systems after a 30-year career in manufacturing. Born in Ohio, Dennis is a California transplant with a bachelor’s degree in history and an MBA. A self-described “humble investor,” he likes reading historical novels and about personal finance. Follow Dennis on X @DMFrie and check out his earlier articles.
Dennis, I don’t think there was much value in me waiting so long to make this reply, but there’s lots of it in your advice. As I think back on decisions I’ve made, I’m thankful I didn’t rush into too many that cost me much.
But I can think of a few that turned out better because I waited. One of those was during the pandemic. The emotional pressure to leave my healthcare job was high–I even wrote an article about it. But I hung on, and my finances are better for it. I think I even learned a little more about weathering an adversity storm that helped me through a later unrelated event.
I can’t take credit for either the decision or the lesson, however. I was just reluctant to make a change, and my foot-dragging turned out to be a benefit. Still, I fully agree with you–it’s better to wait until the emotional high tide subsides before we act.
I too enjoy your articles and this was another gem.
It’s always good to read a reminder of Jonathan’s guidance or encouragement.
I’ve been thinking about another HD contributor that I/we haven’t heard from in a while and was wondering if anybody knows what happened to David Garland – another contributor with a personal and an enjoyable style of writing. This may not be the best time to ask, but am curious.