What I Retired To

When my twin brother Nick and I sold our landscape business at the end of 2012, at the age of 52, we agreed to stay on for another three years. Looking back, that may have been one of the best retirement decisions I never consciously made.

Those three years gave me time to ease into retirement instead of falling into it. They also gave me time to think about something I believe is far more important than deciding when to retire. It’s what are you retiring to?

After enduring another cold Maryland winter, I knew exactly one thing, I wanted warmth. Not just for my aging body, but for a life that could be lived outdoors every month of the year. I’d bought a condominium in Florida a few years earlier, and because I could work remotely, I made the move south.

That became my first step into retirement.

A few years later, Joey and I traded condo living for a single-family home. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t landscaping someone else’s property. I was creating my own. After more than 35 years building landscapes for clients, there was something deeply satisfying about planting trees and flowers simply because they brought me joy.

Then, in 2015, the paychecks stopped.

So did the alarm clock.

For decades my mornings had begun with somewhere to be, someone to meet, or a problem to solve. Suddenly there was nowhere I had to be. I discovered the pleasure of a second cup of coffee that wasn’t making me late for anything.

Retirement also gave us something else that had always been in short supply. Time.

Without a business waiting for me on Monday morning, Joey and I began traveling. We explored towns up and down the East Coast, visited the United Kingdom, the Caribbean, Costa Rica and the Philippines. Every trip reminded me that the world is much bigger than my own experiences. Meeting people whose lives were so different from mine somehow made mine richer.

Travel also awakened something I never expected. I started writing poetry after visiting the Philippines. Those poems gradually turned into personal essays, and eventually into articles for HumbleDollar. Writing has become one of the great surprises of retirement. It has allowed me to reflect on my life, my family, grief, gratitude, and the people who shaped me. In many ways, I’ve found a new purpose just as my old one ended.

Of course, retirement also meant trusting that we had saved enough. That didn’t happen overnight. For years I found myself worrying about money, even though the numbers told me we were financially secure. Old habits are hard to break. After spending a lifetime making payroll, watching expenses and preparing for the unexpected, it took time to believe that we no longer had a mortgage, no debt and no one financially depending on us.

Eventually I stopped asking, “Do I have enough?” Instead I started asking, “Am I living well?” Those turned out to be two very different questions. When people talk about retirement, the conversation usually centers on finances. Those are certainly important. But I’ve come to believe they’re only the admission ticket. Retirement isn’t simply about leaving work. It’s about discovering the life that work never left enough room for. For me, that life has been found in slow mornings, travel, gardening, writing, friendships and the quiet satisfaction of choosing how to spend each day.

That is what I retired to.