MONTH TWO AND ITS NOT GOING WELL

I found a dead cockroach, feet up in the air, in the kitchen, and it struck me that I haven’t done anything productive either over the last two months. Even sleeping late has proven impossible, thanks to my Shih Tzu. My efforts to start a second, part-time career is bogged down in paperwork—far more than I ever anticipated. Apparently, working in my field for over 40 years with a solid reputation is enough to convince recruiters of my competence, but not the bureaucracy; documentation is essential.

My attendance at the gym has been irregular at best. On the flip side, alcohol consumption is way down, though that might be due to stricter surveillance since my daughter is home preparing for her Master’s degree. Most of the projects I planned are yet to take off, which I blame on the delay in getting a schedule for my second career. Consequently, there’s been no horse riding or swimming lessons (and roller skating has been vetoed by the combined forces of my wife and daughter). I’ve downloaded a zillion books from a free website and plan to get to them soon, but for the time being, TV is my main standby. My neighbor tells me that sitting continuously for more than six hours a day increases mortality by 20%; I wonder whether alternating between my couch and my study chair would negate that. I also wonder whether nodding off while watching counts as sitting (bad) or sleeping (good).

I do spend more time with my wife, but mostly watching TV together. Her favorite programs but I am getting to like them. Skipping religious functions is no more an option, as I am unable to come up with convincing (work-related) excuses.

I visited my previous workplace several times, but only to fulfill my commitment to holding our annual conference. The event went well, and my ex-boss even invited me to start planning next year’s, which was kind of flattering. My former junior colleagues gathered around each time and assured me that I am missed, not only by them but by clients as well, claiming the office is “not the same without me.” However, I’ve noticed the only phone calls I get from the organization are from those who didn’t know I had retired (colleagues and clients), and frequency of these calls have rapidly fallen off.

I’ve repeatedly looked through my finances and am now almost convinced that we will survive into our nineties without starving. I also found a couple of instances where my chartered accountant (CA) didn’t do his work, which resulted in my government getting more money than it deserved. The amount is small, but I was reminded of a financial adviser who suggested not to think of the present value of money, but what it would have grown into if invested correctly. This is a mental trick to persuade you to save more, and my saving days should be over. Yet, I seem to be stuck in the saving mode, and the loss (reversible, I hope) engulfed me in a fit of righteous anger. My wife looked at me curiously (I seem to get that look a lot these days) and asked, “Are you the same guy who used to say, ‘It’s only money’?”

The Healthy Life Expectancy Calculator from The Goldenson Center, University of Connecticut, assures me that I have 20.5 years of healthy life ahead of me (with an additional 8.1% if I could sleep more. My newly acquired Garmin Forerunner 265 concurs). I’m not sure whether that is good or bad.