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I’VE BEEN MARRIED TWICE, yet neither time could I take my newlywed wife on a proper honeymoon, let alone a lavish one. Hearing the honeymoon stories of others always left me feeling wistful, tinged with a hint of envy.
My first marriage was a bit rushed. My first wife—now my ex—and I wanted a no-frills civil marriage followed by a simple reception. But my parents insisted on a traditional Bengali wedding with its array of rituals, many of which seemed meaningless to me. The clash between my youthful arrogance and my parents’ orthodox stance blew this seemingly minor disagreement out of proportion, and it didn’t end well.
Long story short, I left amid a heated argument and decided to do things my way. My fiancée and I exchanged vows in the office of a marriage registrar in Kolkata. A few close friends attended the modest celebration that followed, but none of my family. Disappointed and disheartened by how things unfolded, we weren’t in the mood for a honeymoon.
Thankfully, sanity prevailed after a few months. Faced with the consequences of our stubbornness and momentary lapse of reason, both my parents and I hurried to reconcile and mend the emotional wounds. It took some time to move past the bitter experience. By the time the dust settled, it was too late for a honeymoon.
My second wedding wasn’t entirely devoid of tension, albeit for a different reason. Divorce and remarriage are still uncommon and frowned upon in our culture and family. For undertaking such a step, both Bonny—my soon-to-be second wife and a single mother—and I were pioneers in our respective families. As the wedding day neared, we felt the apprehension of “what would people say” hovering over our parents and elders.
The wedding turned out to be less dramatic than we feared. We were married in a lovely venue in Kolkata by a Vedic priest who insisted on including the essential rituals of a Bengali marriage, while omitting the outdated ones. Elders from our families, close relatives and friends all attended the ceremony to offer their blessings and best wishes. My eight-year-old stepdaughter and nine-year-old niece enthusiastically took charge of greeting and entertaining the guests.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t a honeymoon this time, either. We were concerned that my stepdaughter might feel neglected, especially after such a significant change in her life. In addition, Bonny’s mother, who was battling late-stage colon cancer, was in poor health. We chose to postpone our honeymoon to another time, but that time never came.
Still, I’m finally experiencing what a honeymoon feels like. No, I didn’t have to go through yet another divorce and remarriage to finally enjoy the long-desired honeymoon. Bonny and I are perfectly content in our marriage, and we both intend to keep it that way. Instead, it’s another milestone in our lives: my retirement.
A brief recap of my journey through the retirement stages so far: My “pre-retirement” phase began in 2014 when, on my 47th birthday, I resolved to retire by age 50. Though I was enjoying my work, I grew weary of the relentless pursuit of career advancements and professional accolades in the U.S. corporate rat race. It took more than three years of planning and portfolio adjustments before I took the leap.
The moment arrived, and I broached the subject of retirement with my supervisor. After pulling a few strings, he offered me a reduced-hour arrangement. Initially, I agreed to try the part-time role for one year, but the low-stress position surpassed my expectations. After all, who wouldn’t relish the luxury of four-day weekends every week of the year? This “semi-retirement” phase continued for more than five years, until I made the decision to call it quits last fall.
My “retiring” stage began when I informed my team of my intention to leave. Instead of setting a firm date based on the standard notice period, my manager and I opted for flexibility, leaving the date open to minimize disruption. The goal was to allow ample time for hiring the right replacements, transferring my workload and monitoring the team’s progress ahead of my departure.
It took several months from the date of my initial announcement to officially becoming an ex-employee. Surprisingly, this period turned out to be the most relaxing and carefree time of my entire career. I was no longer accountable for ongoing projects, nor considered for new tasks. My role shifted to providing support and guidance for the new managers, if necessary. But to the team’s credit, I found myself simply sitting back, relaxing and enjoying the show.
Meanwhile, the notes congratulating me on my retirement kept pouring in. My team organized a couple of events to reminisce about our time working together. As a farewell gift, my coworkers presented me with a ukulele. With the help of YouTube lessons, I learned how to play Jamaica Farewell on the ukulele and made a recording. That recording served as my parting gift to my teammates.
The next phase of retirement—the proverbial “honeymoon” stage—began earlier this year. For the first few days, I didn’t feel anything was different, except for preparing for the big trip I’d planned. I was heading to India to spend two months with my mother. As I was about to set my out-of-office message before the trip, I remembered that neither was it necessary nor did I have access to my work email anymore. That feeling was truly liberating.
It’s only been a few months, but I already understand why they call it the honeymoon phase. I’ve been relishing my newfound freedom. The time is entirely mine to enjoy. With the liberty to plan my days and activities however I please, I wasted no time in charting out my next six months.
I contacted friends with whom I’d lost touch, including folks from different stages of my life. This included my best friend from school, who later became a monk after completing his engineering degree. I visited the ashram where he currently resides. Reuniting with him after 25 years was an incredibly special moment.
I also caught up with many college friends, some of whom I was seeing for the first time since our college days, only to find that our bond hadn’t faded a bit. Luckily for me, several close friends had settled in India and stayed in contact with one another. I was delighted to join their network and meet up a few times, both in small groups and one-on-one. It’s never too late to reconnect.
Another highlight of my 10-week stay in India was the tours I took with various companions, but I’ll save those stories for another post. After returning to the U.S. a few weeks ago, Bonny and I made a short trip to experience the music scene in New Orleans, and we’ll be heading to French Polynesia in a few weeks. Suffice it to say, I’m cherishing every moment of my retirement honeymoon and hoping it lasts forever.
Sanjib Saha retired early from software engineering to dedicate more time to family and friends, pursue personal development and assist others as a money wellness mentor. Self-taught in investments, he passed the Series 65 licensing exam as a non-industry candidate. Sanjib is the president and co-founder of Dollar Mentor, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization offering free investment and financial education. Follow his non-profit on LinkedIn, and check out Sanjib’s earlier articles.
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Love this. I’m planning for my retirement about a year from now, and one of the things on my list is a celebratory trip to French Polynesia, probably in the fall of 2025. I’m squirreling away hotel points and airline miles for it now. I smiled when I saw that this was one of your “delayed honeymoon” trips. Best to you and Bonny!
Thank you, DrLefty. We loved French Polynesia – the most beautiful place we’ve ever been to. None of us had diving experience, so we couldn’t enjoy the place to the fullest, but the snorkeling was amazing in the islands. Almost felt like swimming in a giant natural aquarium.