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Retiring on My Terms

Richard Quinn

I OFTEN READ ABOUT the difficulties people face after retiring—difficulties that have nothing to do with money. Loss of identity, depression and boredom are all mentioned. It takes serious planning beyond finances to retire, we’re told.

As an employee, I was a type-A personality. I worked seven days a week, in and out of the office. I worked on vacations. My job required me to work with the organization’s most senior executives.

If there was anyone set for a fall upon retiring, it should have been me. I had little social life beyond family, and few friends not related to work. Most of my work “friends” quickly disappeared once I retired. I never thought about retirement planning beyond finances—despite conducting hundreds of classes telling other employees to do exactly that.

Why haven’t I had a problem with retirement? I believe it’s because I waited until I knew it was time. My work situation was changing and I was ready to move on. I retired at age 67 on my own terms.

What were my terms? To begin with, I started a phased retirement the year before, when I began collecting my pension. During that final year, I worked no more than 20 hours a week, and I gradually found it harder to go to the office.

When I retired, my wife made it clear she was continuing all her activities that didn’t involve me. No problem. I wouldn’t expect otherwise. A day with nothing to do isn’t unwelcome to me.

The first thing we did after retiring was take a three-week river cruise from St. Petersburg to Moscow. I wouldn’t do that trip again. But it motivated me to travel as much as possible. While traveling, we’ve made some lasting friendships in Europe.

We’ve been to 45 countries, on several cruises and completed our goal of visiting all 50 states. We travel to our vacation home throughout the year, and also spend part of each winter in Florida. None of this would have been financially possible if I’d set a goal to retire in my 50s or even early 60s. There are tradeoffs.

Communications were a big part of my job. I’m the same person before and after retirement. Why would it be otherwise? Shortly after retiring, I started a website and then a blog, so I’d have a place to rant. That blog still keeps me busy for a few hours a day.

To some readers’ regret, back in 2018, I discovered HumbleDollar. Reading, writing and commenting here takes time each day. I enjoy the back and forth. I’m certainly not bored.

Routine activities take time as well. Food shopping, cooking and assorted errands aren’t depressing to me. Of course, with 11 grandchildren all living within an hour’s drive, there’s plenty of family time, activities to attend, sporting events, birthdays and such.

Five years ago, we moved to a 55-plus condo community, which in reality is more like 70-plus. We have new friends here, plus lots of activities if we want to engage in them. I play golf twice a week in the season. My wife still does her thing, as she has since I retired in 2010.

Perhaps the key to my happy retirement was not planning what I’d do in retirement, and not creating expectations that required effort to meet them. There were no expectations to take up fly fishing or volunteering in the local thrift shop.

I say go with the flow. Don’t try to plan your way to contentment. Just grab every opportunity that makes you happy.

One remnant of my working years remains: I still wake up by 5:30 a.m. each day and look forward to continuing to do so—even with the occasional afternoon nap.

Richard Quinn blogs at QuinnsCommentary.net. Before retiring in 2010, Dick was a compensation and benefits executive. Follow him on X (Twitter) @QuinnsComments and check out his earlier articles.

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Lester Nail
11 months ago

My one and only (so far) hike on the APT I learned the mantra, “hike your own hike”… I’ve applied that to my retirement. Dick, this may be the best article I’ve seen here. I felt guilty about waking up with nothing to do and all day to do it my first year. But in year 3, I am now doing things at my pace and am very happy not to be too busy. By the end of my career I truly hated my job, which I believe helped me to never ever look back with any regrets of retiring a little early. Thanks for everyone’s wisdom and advice here.

Kevin Madden
11 months ago

Great article. Thank you for sharing. For me, the greatest part of retirement is the freedom. The freedom to do an outdoor project when the weather is nice, to take a month long trip to Patagonia with a friend, to go for a bike ride when the winds are calm, to stay up late to watch a game or get up early to go for a run with the guys, to help with the grandchildren, to read a recommended book straight through, to nap, etc., etc. In my opinion, plan, but plan to be flexible.

5Flavors
11 months ago

Loved your article. I retired early, 54, from a high stress job in IT. I had the financial part all set- but worried about the rest. A wise friend who worked in HR told me not to worry. She was right. 12 years later, I am so happy doing/exploring whatever I want. And there were so many things I wanted to do that there was never time for because I worked all the time. Believe I am also a lot healthier. Yes, life is full of tradeoffs.

Donny Hrubes
11 months ago

Thank you Sir Richard!
At this moment I am typing while 80 miles from home babysitting on a small cow ranch. My lady friend has an opportunity for an African safari and is off with her granddaughter.
I got the call to help out and here I am, totally unscripted and so far so good.

Yes Rich, grab the gusto!

My friend has 5 cows named… Ruby, Sweet-pea, Trudy, and Panda all girls. The boy is named aptly, Pot roast.
There are also two Blue Heeler dogs, Bugs the girl, Tuff the boy. Very active!

Rob Jennings
11 months ago

Agree with most of the post but will say that having some sort of plan and purpose can be helpful and there are many people who do struggle post retirement. We had a high level plan to travel to all the National Parks, re-engage with scattered relatives and friends and try new things-that’s mostly worked out well. What I did not predict was the feeling of emptiness I encountered after that first vacation my wife and I took after the corporate retirement that could not come soon enough. I ended up hanging a shingle and have been part time consulting for the last 6 years-it’s a nice balance-along with those things we planned including the new activities like finding long lost family (Im adopted-2 new sisters!), playing pickleball and spending more time investing in our health.

Donny Hrubes
11 months ago
Reply to  Rob Jennings

Hello Rob, Perhaps, having a master plan to be able to be available at the moment for an adventure is also a good idea.
Perhaps.

DrLefty
11 months ago

I was just telling my husband last night that one of the smaller pleasures I’m looking forward to after I retire next year is spending more time on grocery shopping and meal prep. I like to cook and try new things, but nowadays, just getting food in the house and meals on the table in minimum amounts of time is the priority—trying to keep things on the healthier side, too, of course. I’m vaguely imagining things like working through a salad cookbook I bought, more smoothies, sautéed vegetables at lunch, that kind of stuff, not necessarily gourmet cooking, though there may be some of that just for fun, too.

I also resonated with the statement about being ready to leave your job making it easier to adjust to retirement. Some things have changed in my workplace to the point that I’m not even conflicted about the July 2025 date anymore. I can barely make myself go to my office—I do a lot of work from home and go straight to my classroom when it’s time to teach. Definitely time, or it will be very soon.

Kevin Lynch
11 months ago

I retired in January 2024, after 56 years in the work force and three separate careers. My last career was 15 years in academics and I worked remotely for my last 7 years. COVID meant nothing to me work wise, as I was already working remotely. COVID actually kept me working a few years longer, since I was scheduled to retire in 2020, but I figured, “Why bother? I can’t go anywhere, so I might as well keep working and putting money into my 403-b.”

When I decided that I was no longer willing to put up with the DEI BS being shoved down my throat by my institution, and since I had plenty of FU money, I submitted my retirement paperwork.

It’s only been a couple of months so far, but like you, I had no expectations other than to start going to the gym and working out more…and that is a reality. My wife, like yours, continues her routine, and because she was used to me working from home, not much friction has manifested itself there. We have both gotten some minor medical issues handled, taken two VRBO weeks…one in the mountains and one to the beach…and we are planning to start checking off my wife’s desire to visit all 50 US states. We did Hawaii on our 25th Anniversary, and in June we will celebrate our 50th.

I would love to do the 55+ community, and we are actually visiting two this year, but I don’t hold out a lot of hope for my bride opting for that lifestyle. We live on 6 wooded acres in a semi rural area, and she is quite fond of the place…but we shall see.

Enjoyed your article.

JGarrett
11 months ago

Always enjoy your articles…..”go with the flow” is good suggestion but you lost me at 530am!!!!

Marjorie Kondrack
11 months ago

interesting article Dick. It all boils down to a. Phrase I remember from a Chekhov novel…”we each have to solve our own lives “.

R Quinn
11 months ago

I agree, but no need to work to hard at it so it fits a plan IMO.

Mike Gaynes
11 months ago

I love lazy days of reading and watching soccer on TV and just enjoying the view. But here I am at the computer, multitasking. I’m sending emails to clients of my consulting gig, which I’ll never fully retire from because I like the work and the income. I am texting with my referee supervisor about how many soccer games I will work this week. As the president of an HOA whose developer just went bankrupt, I’m arranging repairs for a resident who had a boulder roll down a hill and through her back fence. I just tossed my barbershop choir shirt in the washer because we have a performance Wednesday evening at a local high school.

And when I did my Meals on Wheels route Friday morning, I got a reminder of how important it is to enjoy every day, because on my first delivery I was met at the door by the client’s tearful son. As of two hours earlier, meal service was no longer necessary.

My point is that our lives are largely what we make of them. If the end of your work days means a loss of identity, create another identity. We all have choices and options. Make them while you can, before time and infirmity take them away.

Kevin Lynch
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Gaynes

OUTSTANDING! What a full schedule. Like it all except the singing. I only sing in church, where no-one can tell who the bad voice is.

I am looking into Meals on Wheels myself. My wife and her sorority sisters did Meals on Wheels as a service activity for a number of years, when we were younger. They are one of the charities we sponsor locally

DrLefty
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Gaynes

That is great. What an awesome range of activities. I want to be you when I grow up.

R Quinn
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Gaynes

Well said, never give up.

Jonathan Clements
Admin
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Gaynes

Great comment — thank you!

M Plate
11 months ago

“A day with nothing to do is not unwelcome”, Exactly! so many of my not-yet-retired friends think that a good retirement means being just as busy as you were when working.
You mentioned the routines involving food shopping etc. Those nuts-and-bolts activities used to be a chore squeezed into a hectic life. Now they are taken in stride.

R Quinn
11 months ago
Reply to  M Plate

Absolutely

mytimetotravel
11 months ago

I’m with you. I did do part-time work for a few years after retiring from my full-time job, but after fully retiring I never regretted it. However, I retired in my early 50s and still got in 15 years extensive travel. This was helped by a pension and retiree medical, but also because I traveled on a budget – Russia by train and home-stay, not cruise ship, for instance.

R Quinn
11 months ago
Reply to  mytimetotravel

Not a cruise ship, but a river boat down the Volga stopping in scores of villages and going through 60 locks. Seemed like living in the 19th century.

AKROGER SHOPPER
11 months ago

Richard Thank you for all your posts and wisdom as we face the final chapter. I enjoy sleeping in, breakfast after ten then tending to the daily activities at a much more relaxed rate. Grocery shopping is a great adventure to shop and meet other neighbors to catch up on the goings on. Tending to the home maintenance, auto tinkering, and bus tours around the country make for a happy wife and life. Keep up the good work for Jonathan’s followers here on HD.

Winston Smith
11 months ago

Richard,

You wrote that “To some readers’ regret, back in 2018 …”

I have to say that some must be a very small number.

I enjoy reading your posts.

I enjoy reading EVERYONES posts and all the comments too.

Sure, I disagree with some things.

But everybody is polite and I learn lots of interesting stuff from all those.

I hope you – and Humble Dollar – keeps on
‘keeping on’.

Guest
11 months ago

Mr. Quinn – I mean this for humor only sir. Perhaps I should start a blog when I retire so I’d “have a place to rant”. That would clearly lower my blood pressure.

R Quinn
11 months ago
Reply to  Guest

Great idea. It works, just be sure you know who is reading what you write 😃

essmallwood@yahoo.com
11 months ago

All of us on the Humble Dollar have reaped the rewards to your discovery of the site in 2018! Similar to you, I too still get up early every morning, but unlike you, I sleep in an extra hour compared with when I work, and don’t get out of bed until 05:00

R Quinn
11 months ago

Thank you. I must admit along with getting up early goes going to bed early. I’ve always been a morning person and my wife is the opposite.

Edmund Marsh
11 months ago

Sounds like a full life. I hope your happiness increases along with your years.

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